Sunday, 31 May 2009

My Girls Need a Holiday


I Need A Holiday

It's a beautiful day, but I'm stuck inside.
Staring at this screen, working 9-5.
How I hate this job, coz the days do drag.
They work me like a dog, and the moneys bad.
Cheer up cheer up, don't be blue.
Don't forget it's hometime soon.
We'll make it through another working day.
I need a holiday.
I need a holiday with my friends.
I'm working everyday.
I'm working everyday for the weekend.
Looking at my watch, for the millionth time.
The days go slow, and then the evenings fly.
When I'm outta this place, and the days been won.
I'm going out with my friends, I'm hanging out in the sun.
Cheer up cheer up, don't be blue.
Don't forget it's hometime soon.
We'll make it through another working day.
I need a holiday.
I need a holiday with my friends.
I'm working everyday.
I'm working everyday for the weekend.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
I wish it could be sunday when I wake up every day.
But I need you, yeah I need you.
Yeah I need you more than I can say.
Yeah I need you, yeah I need you.
Yeah I need you more than I can say.
More than I can say.
Yeah I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, more than a holiday.
Yeah I need you, I need you, I n-n-n-n-need you, I need you more than I can say.
More than I can say



Thursday, 28 May 2009

The Message from Beyond

It had been barely 6 hours since Mak Minah passed away. Ita, Mak Minah's eldest daughter-in-law, Leman's wife, glanced at the clock - it was 12.10 midnight. The stream of visitors had eased considerably. There were only her and Sal in the room where Mak Minah lay. Sal was Usop's wife, his first in fact; his second one had chosen to remain home with her young children for the time being.

Mak Minah had 5 children, all boys. Leman and Usop, her third, both lived in the same district somewhere in Masjid Tanah, whilst her other three, Kamil, Yem and Epol were working in KL, Ipoh and Johor respectively. They wiould all be making their way back to the kampung soon after Subuh the following day, for the funeral rites.

Mak Minah was 85, and a diabetic and had complained of general weakness and a lack of appetite the past week. Mak Minah was fortunate that Ita and Sal had volunteered to take turns caring for her. As it turned out, she had slipped away while in bed with only Ita and the maid present. Ita had hastened to the bedside and whispered the syahadah in her right ear, after the maid noticed a change in Mak Minah's breathing and called for Ita.

This kampung house where Mak Minah had lived had been renovated by Usop for his mother some years ago. The upper house is on stilts and has a guest-room and a nice verandah with Melaka-style tiled stairs leading outside. The lower house has a kitchen, 2 bedrooms sharing an attached bathroom, and a huge foyer for family gatherings and the like. When she was still sprightly, Mak Minah had looked after the house really well, keeping it presentable all the time in case of unexpected visitors.

It was very generous of Usop to have undertaken the renovations although he himself had to rent two separate homes for his families. But having been a Class F contractor at that time, he had access to building supplies at discounted prices, so it wasn't too bad. However during Mak Minah's illness, times were getting to be rather challenging. Had it not been that both his wives were working, Usop might have to consider other means of income like selling at pasar malams in KL, or driving a taxi.

Sal was placing a CD of quranic recitation in the mini-compo. Ita closed her eyes, feeling grateful for being able to rest awhile.

"Kak Ita", Sal shook her from her mini-slumber, "I need to tell you something".

"Mmmmm what?" Ita was slightly annoyed.

"Like this, I'm only telling you because I have to get it off my chest". She lowered her tone. "I'm filing for divorce from Usop".

"What???" Ita was wide awake, "are you mad?".

"No, I can't stand it anymore. He doesn't come home at nights anymore, I can't even remember when the last time was, definitely more than a year, two years. I use all my pay for the bills, food, the children's schooling, I might as well be single!"

"Shhh, not so loud" said Ita.

"I've had it, Kak Ita. In fact I have bought a house somewhere near Jasin on the quiet, and it will be ready in another 6 months. By that time the divorce will be finalised and I can move in. Even if he doesn't grant me it, I will move out with the children."

Ita stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm serious, Kak Ita. That woman he married? She wasn't the first. He went for my own good friend before that, ferrying her here and there while I had to catch the bus to work, see to the children and cook his dinner. Kak Leha knows about that, that blardy friend was in the same government department as her and she had the cheek to go see Kak Leha in KL to get her advice. She knew Kak Leha is Usop's sister-in-law."

"What did Leha say?"

"Kak Leha told her not to waste her time and her future on Usop. So they broke up but he found another stupid woman. I've had enough Kak Ita. I want to be free, independant. I'm earning so I'm not worried, I can make the house payments, it's low-cost anyway. Along will finish schooling soon, she can pick up a trade or something."

"You better think some more Sal before you take this drastic action."

"I've thought 10, 20 times already Kak Ita, only I didn't want to say anything when Mak is still alive. Now she is no more there is nothing else to consider".

Epol and Mim from Joor appeared at the door. They had decided to come back earlier after all after leaving their children at her sister's.

"I'm going back home Epol, I was here since last night. See you in the morning then," said Ita after exchanging salams and went off looking for Leman at the verandah. It was really late, 1.10 am.

...........................................................................................

Kamil woke up with a start. Leha was sleeping quietly beside him. He went downstairs for a glass of water. Yem, who had driven down from Ipoh after maghrib, and his two boys were sleeping soundly in the living room. His wife and daughter were in the guest bedroom downstairs. Everything was OK. They had all recited Surah Yasin and a short tahlil for arwah Mak Minah before they retired last night. They will all drive down to Melaka after Subuh tomorrow maybe stopping for a quick breakfast at Seremban R&R.

What a strange dream, he thought. I'll talk to Leman about it after the funeral.

..........................................................................................

Next day, Mak Minah was laid to rest beside the grave of Pak Busu at the kampung cemetery. Sal had gone back home, and Usop's second wife and Mim were around to organise a light lunch of fried mee-hoon and black coffee. Usop had an appointment with someone or other and had excused himself, promising to be back for the tahlil session later in the evening. Kamil was hunched in deep discussion with Leman, Yem and Epol on the verandah.

"Bang Man, I dreamt about arwah last night, you know. She was sitting and talking to me as real as I am talking to you now"

"What? and she wasn't even buried yet! Didn't you wash your feet before going to bed?" Leman joked.

"Bang Man, I was still in wuduk after reciting yasin and tahlil lah. Listen, how is Usop and Sal, are they still together?"

"What do you mean? Off course they are as together as your Kak Ita and I. Well maybe 50 percent, ha ha ha".

He's never serious this guy, thought Kamil.

"In the dream Mak left me a message to be conveyed to Usop."

"So go tell him, why tell me?"

"What did she say?" asked Yem, curious.

"Wait, wait Epol call your Kak Ita here. Maybe she knows something, they are quite close, those two." said Leman.

Ita sauntered over to them with a tray of mee hoon and plates, with Epol following behind with hot steaming coffee.

"Not a moment too soon lah you guys demanding your food. Poor Epol got teased by the women-folk downstairs", complained Ita.

"Ita, sit down here, we want to discuss something with you", instructed Leman.

"Eh, this is men talk between you siblings, I don't want to be busy-body" said Ita while dishing out the mee-hoon.

"No, no not about that stuff, there is ample time for that and there's nothing much to discuss anyway. All the hibah had been settled by Mak a long time ago. This is about Usop and Sal."

"Usop and Sal? What about them?" Ita was wondering whether Sal had indicated anything about her intentions to them.

"Kamal, you tell us about your dream, please" said Leman.

"Kak Ita, Mak came in my dream last night" Kamal began.

"Oh really? What did she look like? At peace or troubled or what?"

"Kak Ita, this was what she said in her own words because I remember it vividly. She said Kamal, tell Usop that I love all my daughters-in-law whether they be near or far. I have no daughters and they were the ones who looked after me whenever I was ill. Tell Usop not to mistreat Sal and not to divorce her. Tell Usop to let her live in this house with her children after I'm gone. Please tell him that. This house belongs to Sal and Sal alone. I love all my children and my grand-children and I will be very sad if my family breaks apart. That was what she said."

Ita felt goose-bumps on her arms. "Did you remember what time you had this dream?"

"Yeah I woke up and went down-stairs, about 1 am. Did Usop or Sal say anything to you?"

Ita tried to remain calm, but she could feel her heart beating hard and fast. This can't be true, she thought. It was about the time Sal had talked to her. This is impossible, impossible.

She decided not to tell anyone about what Sal had told her, after all she had been trusted into secrecy by Sal. And she won't tell Sal about this dream thing either. Or should she? She felt confused.

"Why should they tell me anything anyway? It's their own masjid, it's their business," said Ita, skirting the question. "Why don't you tell this to Usop directly, that's the correct thing to do. If you'll excuse me, I've got things to do in the kitchen. They are all waiting for me."

.....................................................................................

Fast forward three years..... Sal had moved into her new house. She had filed for divorce from Usop citing fasakh - i.e not providing maintenance for more than the pre-agreed 4 months. Usop claimed they were still legally married and he was regularly depositing some amount of money into her bank account. He had never received any official summons to attend court or even to meet the Kadi.

Sal even resigned her job after successfully securing a supplies contract for a government department through a company she jointly set up with a lady polical party chief. She told Ita that sometimes her company and Usop's were in direct competition bidding for the same tender.

She was driving a very nice Honda, was very well-dressed, and wore her make-up elegantly. She was taking all kinds of supplements to maintain her health and well-being, at times recommending them to Ita. But she was still bitter about Usop - always telling people within ear-shot that one day God will show who's right and who's wrong.

Mak Minah's house, meanwhile was transferred to Sal's children, after Sal did not want to have anything to do with it whatsoever. Once in a few months, the children would stop by and open the windows and sweep and mop the place.

......................................................................


About 2 months ago, Ita rushed to Sal's house after receiving a telephone call from Sal's eldest daughter who was crying into the phone saying that her mother was unconscious in her car in the porch. When she arrived, the ambulance had already arrived and the medics were placing Sal onto a stretcher.

Sal had suffered a stroke due to a brain aneurysm. She is now partially paralysed, has lost her speech and is incontinent. Usop brought her back to Mak Minah's house and is being cared for by her daughter with the help of a maid. Sal's mother, whom herself is ailing visits about once a week.

As Ita was driving over to the kampung to visit Sal, she thought about Kamil's dream. Mak Minah got her wish in the end.


(This story stems from a figment of Zendra's wild imagination. Any similarities to real life situations are purely co-incidental )

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE

I've taken this article lock, stock and barrel from Women's Health Magazine. It's an American man's take on fidelity and it is a fascinating read, given the times.

To Cheat Or Not to Cheat

Can a guy's guy stay faithful to one woman for 23 years?

Joe Kita


I want to tell you a secret. It's something I'm deeply proud of yet also ashamed of. It's about being a man and about being less of one. It defines who I am while it defies who I am. It's a dichotomy that's difficult for even me to understand.

How I feel about this secret depends on who I'm with. Alone, or with my wife and family, I feel pride. But with other men--coworkers, drinking buddies--I'm often embarrassed. Even though it's been 23 years, I've never admitted this to anyone--not even my wife. Then again, I'm sure she's never seriously doubted me and will not be surprised by what I confess.

My secret is that for almost a quarter century, I've been faithful. Although I've lusted after many women, I've never slept with one, or left even a lingering kiss on a pair of expectant lips.

I am successful. I am fit. I have money. I dress well and no, I am not ugly. Yes, I've had opportunities. Yet…

That's me you've seen in those sports-bar crowds, clinking pint glasses and clapping shoulders at sexual innuendo. That's me you've overheard commenting on the sassy new intern. Yes, I think about it. Yet…

Those surveys that reveal how many husbands cheat on their wives (and vice versa), I've considered them all. I've been tempted by the idea that monogamy is outdated. Yet…

And of course there's the blandness of the long-term relationship. It's seeing her in sweats scrubbing the toilet. It's running out of things to say over dinner. It's making love in the same position in the same room at the same time year after year. I crave excitement and variety. Yet…

…I've never cheated. And I haven't admitted it because, well, men typically don't do that. No matter how sensitive we'd like you to believe we've become, our brother-cliques still rely on bravado and conquest for acceptance. The minute we confess to not being on the chase, to turning our backs on our genetic drive to procreate, our gorilla chests start to shrink. It may sound small-minded, but that's the way it is, at least in my world.

So why have I never wandered? I have a few ideas:

1. I've never met a perfect 10.
A colleague once told me: "If you're going to cheat, do it with a perfect 10. Because when you get caught--and eventually you will--you'll need to look back without regret." I always thought that was good advice. Plus, I've never met a perfect 10 who was interested in me.

2. My ankle hurts in the morning.
In his book Letters to My Son, Kent Nerburn equates temptation with the time he broke his left leg: "Whenever I feel a surge of attraction to a woman, I think of that leg.…Being unfaithful snaps a relationship as surely as that fall snapped my bone. At first, it may seem like nothing. Over time, you may be able to mend the break so that the relationship is stronger than ever. But it is not healed. The scar remains and it will haunt you forever." I haven't broken any limbs, but I've sprained my right ankle a few times. And it aches almost daily.

3. I'm drawn to a particular type.
Whenever I'm attracted to another woman, I ask myself why. Usually it's because she's tall, thin, brunette, amply endowed, vivacious, witty, and kind. These are all qualities my wife has. It's made me realize that I'm naturally drawn to one type of woman. Why cheat with her twin?

4. I love my wife's gnarly feet.
I once read an article by a guy who cheated. Upon waking next to his one-night stand, he immediately noticed her feet. They had been tucked into sexy black pumps the night before, but now they appeared big and manly and even had corns. He was so disgusted he fled. We forget that love camouflages faults. After 23 years, I know and love every part of my wife--including her feet.

5. I'm Catholic.
After suffering through 12 years of parochial school and memorizing the hundreds of thousands of sins that can send you to hell, I have a deep-seated aversion to coveting my neighbor's wife. Maybe my fidelity has nothing to do with strength and morality. Maybe I'm brainwashed.

6. I keep my word.
I made a public vow to be faithful. And as the son of an ex-marine, I believe a man's word should be unassailable. I'm talking about personal integrity here, a trait often muddied by politicians, athletes, CEOs, and sometimes even our own fathers. I may not have kept some of the little promises I've made, but I've kept the big ones, and I'm damn proud of that.

7. I'm on a streak.
I have a friend who has ridden his bike every day for 14 years. It's a streak that has acquired too much momentum to carelessly abandon. Perhaps my fidelity (8,579 days and counting) is a similar phenomenon.

8. I've benefited from the doubt.
In many marriages, possession is nine-tenths of the love. When you suspect someone is trying to take away what's yours, you work harder to secure it. Even though my wife denies it, she's a bit jealous. But that's good, because from her occasional doubt springs newfound appreciation for me. It's a selfish reason, I know, but I've enjoyed it.

9. I'm scared.
This could be the real reason I haven't cheated. I'm afraid of what one moment of weakness would do to my life. I dread the innocent, unknowing look in my wife's brown eyes the following day. I cringe at the thought of my children seeing their mother hurt and knowing I'm to blame. To put it bluntly, I've probably been true because I'm a coward.

10. I married a perfect 10.
I need to clarify my first reason. I have met a perfect 10, and I married her. And the reason I haven't cheated is that I've never really wanted to. Although my wife and I have our differences, she is a great woman who deserves my fidelity. I may not always be able to give her my full attention or all the material things she wants, but I can give her this. And as the years go by, it becomes more precious--to both of us.
________________________________________________________________
Awww!!! This guy's so sweet, just like someone I know.....

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Sing This To Me Please, My Hubby

along with your delicious neck and shoulder rub?





Don't mind us kiddos ...... you'll get there too someday

Friday, 22 May 2009

Long time married lah

Hubby forwarded me this e-mail. Wives are supposed to laugh OK?...............

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Sacha Guitry


Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Anonymous



'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

Anonymous


'I've had bad luck with both my wives.

The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

James Holt McGavra


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

Nash


My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

Henny Youngman


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Anonymous

SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Guess I do have a sense of humour!

Talking of humour, listen to this:-



You Want More Energy?

Zen Habits suggested 55 ways as per the list below; some of them are quite interesting and can be done immediately.

1. Change your socks midway through the day for refreshment.

2. Rock out loud - a quick one-song rock out loud session is an effective way to beat back exhaustion.

Zendy's suggestion: (Click on "Play full song here")

3. Get rid of the stuffy nose - clear up your sinuses (and your mind).

4. Work with your body’s clock.

5. Have a piece of chocolate - we get an endorphin buzz from chocolate (Zendy: This I can do right now)

6. Have an afternoon power snack.

* mixed nuts
* nonfat yogurt
* apple and peanut butter
* frozen berrie smoothie
* trail mix
* granola bar

7. Hit up the water cooler for inconsequential banter - a little midday gossip and random banter is a great pick-me-up

8. Eat lots of berries. - All types of berries help fight fatigue and are delicious to boot

9. Wear brighter colors -(Zendy: Malaysians know this one)

10. Take a power nap - Keep it short: 5-10 minutes max.

11. Flirt - It’s fun, it’s harmless (keep it innocent), and it’s effective. Nothing quite gets the heart pumping like a little flirting (Zendy: Baik toksah)

12. Aromatherapy with lavender.

13. Wake up at the same time everyday.

14. Drink lots of water -Dehydration is a sinister cause of fatigue because it slowly creeps up on you. (Zendy: I try to go for 1 big bottle everyday)

15. Use caffeine wisely - Coffee provides a shot of energy, but can also become a counterproductive dependence. (Zendy: 1 mug a day for me, more than that spells insomnia, less equals withdrawal headache)
16. Avoid energy drinks.

17. Eat low glycemic (low or complex carb) foods.

18. Eat more soluble fiber.

19. Get your Vitamin C. (Zendy: I'm a firm believer in C)

20. Sniff some citrus.

In addition to the Vitamin C, citrus scents (like orange, lemon and lime) stimulate alertness. So lather on some of that lemon scented lotion. (Zendy: I love citrus)

21. Cover the B Vitamins. (Zendy: Makes me hungry all the time)
22. Quit smoking - Ex-smokers frequently report an energy boost of 2-3x when they quit smoking.

23. Play to relax - like Scrabble on Facebook but have a strict time limit

24. Eat smaller, more frequent meals.

25. Enjoy a cup of tea. (Zendy: with my chocolate!)
26. Splash some water on your face. (Zendy: OK done)
27. Stand up, stretch and take a couple of deep breaths. (Zendy: done)

28. Get your world organized - reduce the clutter

29. Look on the bright side.

30. Take a mini-vacation - Take one day and just do whatever you want. No work, no chores, no errands. Enjoy your one full day of vacation, then come back to work more motivated and energetic.

31. Eat a satisfying breakfast but a light lunch (Zendy: Rice at lunch makes me drowsy after half an hour)

32. Choose protein over fat or carbs.

33. Shed a few pounds.

34. Listen to tunes while you work.

35. Start exercising.

36. Eliminate stress.

37. Have more sex - Talk about an endorphin rush! (Zendy: Hey! Ingat bende ni Touch N Go ke?)

38. Move gym time to the morning.

39. Purge low-value tasks from your todo list.

40. Avoid the mid-day cocktail.

41. Get a massage (Zendy: Thai is best)

42. Dress up.

43. Don’t drink yourself to sleep.

44. Get a thyroid test from your doctor.

45. Take a walk outside.

46. Lower your blood pressure.

47. Rotate yogurt into your diet.

48. Have a laugh. (Zendy: Blogs can be hilarious)

49. Add more cardio to your gym time.

50. Take up yoga. (Zendy: Auummm.....)

51. Eat eggs. (Zendy: Luv 'em)

52. Get a good night’s sleep - If you’re falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow (or while sitting at your desk), that’s a symptom of sleep deprivation.

53. Get more ginseng.

54. Socialize - Turn off the Internet and go socialize with friends. (Zendy: I do this too)

55. Get on your toes - Roll up and down on your toes. This stimulates your circulatory system, which will deliver much-needed oxygen and fuel (glucose) throughout your body. You’ll be more energized and sharper. You can do this right now.




Read the article in full here

The weekend's a good time to start - Aku Boleh!

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Tok Mi's Thoughts on Lady Candidates

Tok Mi has 31 grandchildren ranging in age from 35 down to 9. Only 4 are married so far, which by 40's standards seem rather wanting. Still with 5 great-grandchildren, memang Alhamdulillah.

Nevertheless Tok Mi gets quite anxious when any of her unmarried grandchildren gets posted out-of-state. If it is Penang, Kedah or Perlis, you'll have to watch out for anak mami, they'll never be satisfied with any amount of jewellery you buy them. Off course that is very old school prejudice.

If Kelantan, be careful of the Cek Mek Molek Manja, Abeh here Abeh there, "your son will never be home for both rayas". But I must agree with the manja part though, these cek meks have a certain lenggok in their twang which can be rather mengancam, to say the least!

She told a budding pilot "Make sure you marry a teacher because she only works half a day and will be around more for the children. You can also take them overseas during school holidays on the fare subsidies". That must be a good testament for my brother and his wife, a retired pilot and a retired teacher, respectively.

My own son, and his Mum as well, got a talking to when she got news of him having been assigned to KK. "Sabah ladies are very friendly and hospitable and be careful not to be charmed by their beauty too, otherwise you'll get stuck living in Sabah your whole life. Just look at so-and-so, blah blah blah... blah blah blah... Zendy, watch out for him, I'm telling you this, if you want your son near to you".

Tok Mi... Tok Mi... we tell her, it's all jodoh lah. All we ask is that their jodohs be compatible with them, intellectually, physically, emotionally, are economically sound, are good practising Muslims and raise their children likewise, doakan their parents; does it matter where they come from really?

But then we can't really discount the instincts and intuitions of old folks. They have all that experience behind them, especially of human nature through life. It's good to get their blessings of whatever it is that we intend to do, after all they are the ones who pray for our success and happiness, too.

Tok Mi is flying off on a holiday tomorrow. She's leaving this advice for her hormone-raged grandchildren. Enjoy!




Sung by Hetty Koes Endang