Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Beware of The Snake

I was born in the Chinese year of the Snake.

People are generally afraid of snakes
because they have poisonous bites, 
and they devour whole chickens and even goats.
Some even wrap themselves around objects of  their fancy
literally squeezing the lifes out of them

        The Snake

However,  if ancient Chinese wisdom is to be believed,
 a Snake in the house is a good omen
because it means your family will not starve.

And why is that so?

Because the Snake is keen and cunning, quite intelligent and wise
and has no qualms about sacrificing his/her possessions, 
in order to pay for his family’s food.

But if you stab a Snake in the back 
it is likely you will NEVER be forgiven.(Watch out!!) 
In addition, you should prepare yourself for retaliation 
for the Snake always gets the last word. (Be Forewarned...)

 Not everyone can live 
and be happy with a Snake (KAKAKAKA). 
It takes a patient soul, 
someone ready for the long haul, 
who can calm his/her nerves
and deal with his/her obsessions with skill. (Yeah, yeah)

seemingly an unlikely partnership
But they fit well together…
They share flirtatious natures (huh?)
and zesty outlooks.

Snakes love to vacation
They get a great deal of pleasure out of just being lazy ;)

And they love luxurious things, 
often spending their money on material desires 
they probably don’t need (Where got?)

When a Snake goes on vacation, he/she really goes on vacation. 
Fancy restaurants, expensive health clubs and spas, 
anything in which they can fully indulge themselves. 
(About time for one)

Snakes become easily stressed 
and have to avoid hectic schedules or noisy atmospheres. 
They do not get a rush from adrenaline, 
instead, A HEADACHE. 

They need calm and quiet to thrive and succeed. 

A Snake must have sleep and relaxation
to live a long, healthy life.

So in case this Snake does not wake up
in time for the lunar new year, 
she wishes all Chinamen and China-dolls


Tahun Rimau sudah mari 
Main mercun sampai pagi
Makan limau satu guni



Tommy Yewfigure said...

Wah Zen, u so old oreadi ka 57y.o!!!
If there's any consolation u & Oprah Winfrey & J.K Rowling & Bob Dylan & Paul Simon all same age mah :)

I like 'Snakes Alive'...the lollies lah.


P/S - For 2010, Snakes should be more forthcoming, listening closely to advice given, especially from Ah Pek, Pirates & the PakMat, ok?

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Sori, Sori, Sori to scare u lah Bob & Paul is actually 12 years older than u but J.K is 12 years younger :(
Memang semua ular tho..hehehe

Hey good honest mistake lah, not meant to offend :)

pakmat said...

I am not sure what year I was born..but I think it is something that snakes have for wonder I am getting all those goosepimples when I am here..:)

Zendra-Maria said...

Aiyerrr Tommy not yet that old lah - wait till December Christmas Eve hehe. BUT that will only be my chronological age; in body, mind and spirit, I don't even have to tell you - you know lah.

Sure, snakes will listen to old coots like you guys provided you are oxen, or roosters, but not pigs!

Lucky for you plus-or-minus 12 years don't bother me, otherwise you kena the snake's venom hahaha.

Zendra-Maria said...

Pakmat, I'm not sure whether the pimply goose made it to the Chinese calendar either - but a gaggle of them might just scare the poor snake into a corner...

Anonymous said...

And they also make good handbags and shoes.


Zendra-Maria said...

Derebar, apa khabar? You mean goose leather or snake skin? HAHAHAHA I bet both make good covers for car-seats, and steering-wheels too.

Nice of you to stop by this time :)

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Aunty Zendra,
"When a Snake goes on vacation, he/she really goes on vacation.
Fancy restaurants, expensive health clubs and spas,
anything in which they can fully indulge themselves.(About time for one)" - hahahaha...sounds like what my Mama is wishing for. purrr....meow!
pssst...she's a snake too...

Zendra-Maria said...

Cat, gosh is your mama a snake too? You must be one helluva good kittie since she hasn't eaten you alive..... yet ;)

Capt's Longhouse said...

girls !

,,,just beware of the RED head snake too. hahaha. (its venom is known to last for 9 months at times.)
,,,and Zen, you have been bitten 5 times ! hihihi

Zendra-Maria said...

Capt. the venom may have lasted nine months, but the pleasure lasts a life-time each time hehe

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, Wow, you a snake? Thats good.
Snakes love Alfa Romeos, ha ha.
Me? I'm a horse, a Firehorse as was born at ending....
and Firehorse loves the ahemmm, opposite sex, YeeeeeHaaaa!
Have a nice day, Lee.

Zendra-Maria said...

Hello Firehorse - and the opposite sex loves you in return YEEEEHAAAR

I'm a water snake so careful when you tread in water ;)

mamasita said...

Snake and Dragon? What a very compatible pair! They do look alike in some ways.. and monkey..aiyoo..pening!!
Guarding Mr Monkey is no easy task..hehe

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Aunty Zendra,
Dad is a rooster.... go figure. That's why the kitties are safe. hahaha... purrr...meow!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hey Zen, do u watch Discovery Channel on TV? You’ll love this guy adventurous Body, Mind & Spirit. He’s ex-SAS (macam Capt). You should watch his series ‘Man Versus Wild’, see his survival techniques. Bear Grylls eats everything from Zebras, Snakes, Goats, Camels, Scorpions, bugs, maggots etc and even his own poo…ewww yuks! Bear Grylls is the youngest brit to climb Mt Everest at 23y.o;

Just EAT it

So Zen, run next time u see Bear Grylls, run for your life, he devour Zebras….hahaha


P/S – Zen, u should consider upgrading your blog ratings to MA, Capt needs to wash his mouth with soap. I think he must had been born in the year of the fiery Filthy PIG…hehehe

Zendra-Maria said...

Cat, psst tell your mama, roosters are OK creatures - so long as she lets them sleep early at night and crow at dawn - Cock-a-doo-dle-doo hahahah!

Zendra-Maria said...

Dog and Monkey, hey that's a really fun relationship - teringat dulu-dulu tengok the dependable dog Lassie on TV - macam tu lah you mamasita hehe ke sana ke mari tending the herd

Zendra-Maria said...

CORR-BLIMEY Tom, that Bear, he's one of a kind, he probably got paid more than Jamie Oliver and Ian Wright combined for that series. Yes I used to watch it, quite fascinating and educational. But of course when you think there was always a production crew around, the episodes weren't that scary after all. Not quite like war vids.

NanaDJ said...

All this talk about snake...I gelilah. I will run a hundred miles from (real) snakes. I will even say no to free Birkin bags if they are made from snakeskins (much as I dream of owning one).
As usual Tommy is priceless, see how his quick mind have zeroed in on your age, no escape from him!

Zendra-Maria said...

NanaDJ, in other words you are ophidophobic hehe a fear of snakes - though actually you are merely geli of them, so I guess phobic is not the right term.

But now I'm thinking you are a Tommyphile pulak - better think again nanaDJ, one look at him and you might run a thousand miles the other direction!

Naaah he knew my age all along, only waiting for the right moment to announce it to the whole world for me, didn't you Tommy?

Capt's Longhouse said...

,,,indeed, life is too short to tackle without a sense of humour, with it you can place any seemingly large problem i its proper perspective and laugh about it.....and a smile is the beginning of wisdom.

,,,accept life, and you must accept regret. He who undevalues others is likely to undervalue himself !.

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Sorry lah Capt, I got carried away there. Glad u slept over & thought about it. Others would not have been so lucky to had escaped the wrath of the pirate’s 1%. Tommy where got devalue anyone one, I see all as equal lah, we lived & we die, let’s make the best in between & bring some joy to one another lives. Shake hands ok, Capt? No hugs please, we r straight as the proverbial Chinese hair.

Zen, don’t be like that lah, telling NanaDJ to run away just one look at me. Don’t forget NanaDJ & I are from the same kampong, we, Johorean look out for one another, betul tak kak?

Zen, this is from your time lah, oso for NanaDJ too, I see PakMat smirking there too, cheers.

Hollies Just One Look

Kong Hei Fatt Choy to all of u too.


Zendra-Maria said...

Tommy, before you shake hands with pirates, first make sure he's not captain hook hahaha!

Aiyo all these retro music make me feel septuagenarian, but this kind of septua!

Zendra-Maria said...

Capt, a smile is the beginning of wisdom, and the prophet SAW it is a form of charity

So here's a smile for you

Zendra-Maria said...

ooops, the prophet SAW once *said