Monday, 23 February 2009

Critiqued By The One I Love

Melor was home for the week-end. We were both seated at the dining table, each engrossed in our respective note-books. Then she let out a long sigh.

Zendra: Apa ni mengeluh macam orang hilang panduan?

Melor: Mieee, your blog ni, poyo lah.

Zendra: Poyo? I don’t understand. What do you mean? All this new-fangled terms are lost on me.

Melor: It means …... susah nak cakap lah ………… like you want to be classy but people can see you are kampong people.

Zendra: Itu orang…. But blog? Hey orang kampong now very sophisticated, you know. Don’t demean people OK?

Melor: You copy-paste , copy-paste only. People want to read what you write when you blog. Some more it looks loud, gawdy ……. poyo lah

Zendra: Alaa give me time-lah. My blog only 1 week old. Start out loud - OK maa, like the creation of the universe ……….BIG BANG!

Anyway, I don’t know how to write.

Melor: Last time when you were working, you were forever typing -typing until ayam berkokok……. Couldn’t stay up with you pun.

Zendra: That wasn’t writing. Those were boring reports ler. RFP, RFQ, evaluations, letters …… I don’t know how to write like “once upon a time, bla, bla,bla….. bla, bla, bla”

Melor(rolls eyes): Mie, can we go to Ajidon for mee rebus. Teringin lah….

Zendra: K. That’s the best thing you’ve said since you opened your mouth just now.

While getting ready, Zendra reminisces back to a day decades ago -

Boss: Zendy. Come.

Zendra: Yes, Boss.

Boss: Nah. Take this back and re-do.

Zendra: Mmmmm, What’s the problem, Boss?

Boss: Your report is very long-winded. You go round the world east-west north-south and round again before you arrive at your conclusion. Even that not clear. What they teach you in university I don’t know.

Zendra(Heart beating furiously): Sorry.

Boss: Some more your words bombastic, even Oxford professor don’t understand. Bahasa Arab pun ada.

Zendra: Bombastic? Arab?

Boss: Ni. Ubi tikus, albait. Albait tu maknanya “rumah itu”, tau?

Zendra: (Laa, ubiquitous …… albeit) Sorry.

Boss: You re-write that and follow the KISS principle.

Zendra: Sorry?

Boss: Keep it simple simple. I have to present it, not you. OK? I want it tomorrow.

Zendra(tears welling up): OK. I’ll try to finish by tomorrow.

If I could narrate those 2 episodes, I would, but I can't. The one with my boss left me creatively-challenged until today. But then, maybe I could write a movie script or a Malaysian drama.

Hmmm ……..that’s a thought …….. Maybe, maybe ........(angan-angan lagi)

(Sorry, can't get the tabbing to work)


Anonymous said...

welcome to blogging,,,,am also pretty new to this net thing, something to do since my very recent retirement,,,,lots of spare time to waste around after the hard work cleaning the area plus repairing the capt's longhouse, biasa lah after monsoon season tons of sampah along the beach front.
oooo yaaaa,,,your writing style is interesting read, keep it up, hamtam saja that's my style ! guess after awhile people will just appreciate truthful stories from individual bloggers.
o.k i still have problems with my time setting,,,out terok !


mamasita said...

Hai Zendra!
Poyo? Apabenda tu? hehehe

Baru a week old tapi sedap semacam your entries! Before long we'll all be flocking to your blog!

Great start and welcome to our cyberspace! Hope you'll enjoy our company as much as we will enjoy yours!

And thanks for changing the method of coming in to leave comments! Senang hati dah! hahaha

Zendra said...

Capt. PirateKing! Thanks for the advice. Hamtam saja!!! Hamtam can be therapeutic too, like cleaning and fixing.

mamasita, thanks so much for the encouragement. It means a lot you know, cos bukan senang nak keep this up. Yup, I made the comment- access more senior-friendly, going by who my avid fans are, so far. Ha,ha ... jangan marah...

Capt's Longhouse said...

Zendy, listen to Boss here !!! haha got you there ?.
enjoyed reading your other blog too. in fact, learning from it too.
Guess, we need to maintain two blogs yaaaa. 1st for fun and the 2nd for serious business, in your case religion and mine about worldly affairs in my
'pirates of kapas island' so as to maintain sanity in this crazy world.
Saw many mysteries everywhere and took joy in the strangeness of life,,,,hope to capture all of it in my blog too !!!.

yoo ho hoo from kapaspirateking.

Zendra said...

Capt. Boss, yes I do need the other blog, if anything, just to remind me where I am in the whole scheme of things - a mere iota of a dot but still accountable.
Hey, do tell us about those mysteries - just love mysteries, the unexplainable, the beauty of the deep...
(sigh) If only I'm not that scaredy-cat, I would be watching those underwater rhapsodies with my own two eyes...
but then breathing through the mouth makes me kembung perut lah!

Thanks for the boost - appreciate it.

Kama said...

Welcome to blogsphere. I think you are doing More than just alright. The most important thing is to write what's 'spoken' within, and the way I look at it, you are right there with the rest of us blogger hopefuls all..

I can't help but gelak at the little exchange between Boss and you.. bahasa arab and ubi ..LOL

Zendra said...

Kama, thanks for dropping by and for the tip. Wah, write what's 'spoken within'. I'll try, I'll try ..... tapi macam susah je.