Tuesday, 17 February 2009

How to be the Perfect Wife the 50's Way

My Mum and (late) Dad were blessed with 9 children. He went out to work and she took care of the household. And he always came home for lunch and dinner, unless off course there were meetings and official dinners that he had to attend. My Mum would then accompany him to these functions, dressed to the nines. I think they had a perfect marriage. She must have done it the 50's way. Read on.

This was taken from Helen B. Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood, published by Pacific Press in 1965. The course was designed to teach women how to be happy in marriage.

Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.

Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for this homecoming.

Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.

Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.

Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.

  • Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.
  • Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.
  • Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.

Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.

You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.

Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.

Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.

Phew! Alhamdulillah my man IS my nightly bantalpeluk. But still worth picking up on those petua-petua that I'm slacking. OK Zendra, re-invent yourself!


Al-Manar said...

As a husband who has been blessed with many many years of happy marriage I do not believe in the regimented life of a wife. I for one believe in a ‘natural’ behaviour. I want my wife to be what she is because I want to be what I am. We have to learn to accommodate and tolerate each other’s weaknesses and learn to improve ourselves. Learning by mistakes is to me the answer to be at ease with our marriage. I suppose my philosophy is not every body’s cup of tea. I believe, one greatness or wonder of His creativity is that no two individuals are identical in every way. So why not do it the way best suited to ourselves?

Zendra said...

Salam Sheikh. Thank you for your thoughts. Your wife must surely treasure you as her husband. Patience and understanding are key in any relationship, and I for one am thankful for those qualities in my husband. Though we have settled into a comfortable familiarity so to speak, I do feel however, we should not lose the sizzle.

Capt's Longhouse said...

posted a comment earlier but still nil so a repeat kind off, if I can recall it !
Yes, am from the old school,,,when I say jump I expect the wife to ask how high ?,,,in my dreams yaaa.
The truth is the wife is killing me with her wounderful cooking, so much so to prevent an early heart attack, am forced to run away and moroon myself on this island in the South China Sea,,,Kapas Island or Cotton Island.


Zendra said...

Capt. you're too, too funny. Thanks for dropping by.