Identity Crisis

Kids at boarding schools love to call one another by nicknames. Some of these describe the kid to a T, like Jimok (gemok), or Bear (big-sized) or Kepeng (flat) or Gori (like a gorilla) while others are a corruption or a shortened version of the kid's real name like Ep, Harry, Tilot, Syiro, some are even called by their father's or grandfather's names!

What the heck, even adults love nicknames, especially those living in the blogosphera. In the non-sopo precinct where I frequent it's interesting to note that men tend to use an address before their names, either Pak this or Uncle that or Captain this or Dr that, as well as they are not adversed to being thought of as old, as in Old Stock, or Ol Rascal...

Whereas the ladies are more creative in giving themselves pretty names like... ahem... zendra, kay-leeda, desert rose, or mamasita, even just kama. Some refer to themselves as someone's mom, or elder sister or even declare themselves as being of the feline family, either tame or wild. But very few have taken to call themselves Makcik this or Aunty that... (is Mek young or old by the way?)

It's just so typical, isn't it? Men generally have an inherent need to be addressed as persons of seniority hence authority, and women mostly are just not that bothered. Nevertheless I cannot now fathom why I chose such a frivolous-sounding name for myself, maybe I did not know then that I would last this long blogging or that I would meet up with any of you blogotizens out in the real world, let alone hear myself being addressed as Zendra or Zen. It's even more awkward when I get introduced to other people by that name - in those instances I was able to establish eye contact and smile, but not able at all to say "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Zendra", because in the real world I AM NOT Zendra.

Mat Bangkai transitioned to Sofian Boe very smoothly - at the same time revealing a picture of himself (a far cry from a bangkai is he and hardly a mamat). Like him, many others have their real world names on Facebook but not me - mine is "Zendy Zee"! My myriad nieces and nephews as well as siblings are already used to that, when they asked why Zendra, or Zendy Zee, I answered why not?

So my question is when next I meet you guys out on terra firma, will you be comfortable calling me Mariah or would you still insist on Zendra, or Zen or Kak Zen? Willmie Jalius aka Pak Tuo refers to me as Kak Mariah outside and Kak Z in here, but he's a cousin once removed, it's quite easy for him. Red Alfa and I, we sometimes forget where we are.

You know, someone said (was it Harun Yahya?) that life on this earth is a dream WE control - the Hereafter being the true world, real and everlasting; but for bloggers and facebookers and the like,  have we (or at least me) have we set ourselves up in yet another unreality, simply by virtue of a nickname, a persona (like a pirate)? Yew You figure.



(Don't mind her, Zendra's just rambling... and wondering what her name in that everlasting world might be)