Thursday, 1 October 2009

I Do What I Do

"It tastes exquisite - like a beautiful woman coming out of the darkness"

What a pick-up line for a man appreciating his loved one's culinary creation.

Emmm, if you think this came from someone who had a birthday recently, sorry-lah. Sorry for me too. But then when he piles on another helping of rice even it is only to go with fried chicken and kailan masak lemak and sambal belacan tomato, that's enough thanks for me.

Anyway that line was from a cookery show I was watching. When there's no one else at home watching MTV, or ESPN or CNN then I get to watch the cookery channel...... while having brunch.

Why brunch? Well I woke up quite late.

Why did I wake up late? Well I went to bed very late, 4.00 am.

Why 4.00 am? Because I couldn't sleep.

Why not? I had Milo tarik kurang manis at the mamak's at Mydin Mall at 10.30 last night. So you know lah, minum Milo jadi KUAT dan SIHAT - not jahat ok?

Why drink a stimulant at night lah? Because my taitai sis belanja mah...

Why she belanja? You see, we were with another sister (I have 4 sisters) shopping for prizes for our once-in-a-few-years gathering of the Tok Jamal descendants this weekend. Tok Jamal was our great-grandfather. This taitai sis is really generous - she always belanja us makan-minum.

And then she assigned me a task - younger sisters always get assigned little tasks, and not so little tasks.

What task? "You take home these prizes and gift-wrap them" she ordered, "after all you got nothing to do!"

You know I'm really amazed. A retired madam taitai, living in a 3-storey mansion with 3 whatchamacallems in the porch and a maid for each of the 3 storeys, tells ME who chose not to have a maid, who everyday AT THE VERY LEAST has to make the conjugal bed (this is easy), cook and serve the conjugal dinner (also easy but sometimes no mood), wash and put away the utensils (easy too but boring job), also hang out and then fold and put away the family laundry (do not need a degree for these), occasionally wash the bathroom, and whine about the uncut grass, the leaky roof, - hey I'm not complaining - but I do NOT have nothing to do, madam.

"Eeeyer, YOU'RE the one got nothing to do what!" I sneered.

The Libran sis with 2 grandkids on her hands every working day, tries to balance the scales "You both divide the things up lah or you both come to my house to do the wrapping".

"Aiyahh susah-susah I'll take everything-lah". Attagirl, sis. You're an angel. Mmmmuah. Tomorrow I can watch TV while eating my brunch, kikiki.....

Plus think about the poco-poco steps easy enough for the makciks to pick up during the joget lambak segment - a task assigned by the Libran. Can't get off scot free, you know.

Actually the things I do everyday, is what next-doors' maids do everyday too. OK, I concede I only do what I choose to do. But then I'm unpaid so I can choose to DO something or NOT to do something. Why get stressed mowing the grass, cleaning the drains? I'm stressed enough just looking at them lah. (That sounds like convoluted logic) But I must say the cars are always shining - enough elbow grease in that department haha. Not from my elbows but someone elses. Of course if I were a maid like the ones next door, the grass, the drains, my car would get lashings of grease from mine.

Hats off to the Indon maids, those who work hard from dawn to dark, and especially those who do not layan banglas and construction workers. Here's a song for them. (I myself get stressed watching it - Thanks Widz)

(Sigh - I just want to be like that beautiful woman coming out of the darkness........... How to be this I do not know. Would these latest gifts from a Canuck Casanova help?)

This was written tongue-in-cheek - no malice intended, absolutely


Kak Teh said...

zendra, i am a fan of cookery programmes as well. I watch Masterchef especially and wonder how they did what they did under pressure. A few days ago I received an sms from our ustaz - tonight s the surau's turn to celebrate eid and can i bring something for potluck? oh noooo! What do i cook? Looks like it will either be sardine rolls or meehoon goreng!

as for being that beautiful woman coming out out of the darkness...well, just let it remain dark, and the beauty part of it can be left to imagination. At least for me lah!

Zendra said...

Haha Kak Teh if we could just whip up those fantastic dishes from just watching, wouldn't it be nice? No ingredients to prepare, no utensils to wash after..

Hey why not surprise everyone and do both? New oven for rolls and new hob for the meehoon!

You're right - Let it be dark - cos we glow, we glow

Capt's Longhouse said...

Geee Ladies !

What's wrong doing what you ladies are doing yaa ?
...since retiring its exactly what am doing too..housekeeping/washing/cooking/shopping/sleeping etc etc and its great !!, maybe cos. I make money from it hahaha, you don't kind of, but you do.
...In fact, I should wear a sarong too,,hahaha !
...O.K. its something to keep me sane-kot, or is it with the yin/yang nonsense ??
,,,BUT its really a business running the Capt's Longhouse so its work for me-lah.
...BUT am suppose to be a retiree ? am I one ??. I still do WHAT I want to do, so O.K. lah kot !!.

PirateKing or Queen ?? hehehe

Zendra said...

Tok Uban, there's absolutely nothing wrong doing things about the house and I said I wasn't complaining kan? It's just that some people equate that to doing nothing, when they have maids to do those nothing for them. Kesian - they pay maids 500 / 600 rgt to do nothing hahaha. And I get paid nothing to do nothing... eh I'm not complaining. I like to have my own air tangan in those nothings. Ish, membebel pulak.

Naz said...

With the amount of work you do, you are allowed to membebel to your heart's content! I will back you up and scream ala Rhoma Irama (dengan suara halusnya) *Pasti tak akan stress!*
Do you realise that he looks like Fadzilah Kamsah? Or is it just my imagination??? Well, I don't have any problem imagining the good doctor rocking away with an el. guitar! :D

Zendra said...

Hey Naz, alah kerjanya tak seberapa pasal of all my kids only 1 lives at home now, 2 are back at weekends and THAT'S when it gets tonggang-langgang. Monday morning the Indon cleaner comes for the big clean-up. The rest of the week I buatlah sikit-sikit hehe. But still that's not nothing kan? Oooops better stop before I take off.

Mengikut kajianlah (hehe) Datuk Fadzillah tu bangsa Wak Jarrrman dan Rhoma tu Melayu kita, rasanya pertaliannya sesama Muslim jer.

I suka kat saxophone player tu... Reminds me of my good buddy Rose from school days.

masterwordsmith said...

Dear Kak Zendra

A lovely post to remind us of the bliss of being a homemaker...:-)

Take care and best wishes to you and yours.

Anonymous said...

dear all,

,,,indeed, its being just a happy homemaker that counts.
,,,that's most rewarding doing it by oneself !!..making it routine and not as a chore ...yaw !! hehe.
,,,interestingly cooking being part of it, making oneself a Chef too. It indeed become a pleasurable event-lah.
,,,I/we love doing what am/we r doing, its an art ! Interior Decorating (housekeeping), experimenting (cooking), gardening (pekebun !), fishing & sailing (fisherman ?), engineering (maintenance !), PR services(barawar ?), Jack of all trade (kulikang !!)...dan lain-lain hahaha ya !!.
,,,being independent of maids has its advantages too, trust me..keeps oneself healthy both physically n mentally too. Not a spoilt brat, like most people we know-lah hohoho ??.
,,,salute to all homemakers yooo !..pls get the rest in the house to pull their socks themselves too or you give them a kick on their fat ass hehehe. haha ! r not their bloody servant-lah.

Tok Uban

Zendra said...

Hey Paula, you've put it very nicely - homemaker's bliss. That's how I feel too.

Do so love your funnies.. hehe

Zendra said...

Capt. What am I doing here at this laptop when I should be watching TV documentaries? hahaha

Thanks for the boost. Yes indeed doing things ourselves is very satisfying but appreciation must be forthcoming too, especially when there's no red merc sports in the porch sob,sob

But my two ting-tongs ok gak, they help with the washing-up and take out the trash. But cutting the grass lembap sikit lah. You can practise golf cutting strokes for getting out of the rough here.

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Cho San See Tao Poh,

I don't think u know the meaning of 'Stress'.

Why? Coz u've got a good life, sleep late, wake up late, no one to answer too. Do chores as & when u feel like it. Go shopping; go travelling on impulse, what more can u asks for? Hmmm unlike poor buggers like us that still need to slog from 9 to 5 to cari makan, how sad! However, u must admit work done for the love of it always give u the best results.

Capt, u & I are the same lah, we can do these chores without any problem tapi I ni cook macam itu Gordon Ramsay with all his colourful expletives, except mine is in Cantonese or Hokkien….hahaha.

Hey Zen, one question/riddle for u on cooking;

How can u tell if pancakes are male or female?


P/S – Answer: Female pancakes are well stacked…..muahaha.

Zendra said...

Cho San, Cho San, Tor Mee Sifu
Lei Hou? Seik cho faarn meih?

Wah so fast you demote me to See Tao Poh? As long as not Ah Soh Ok lah.

Aiyah so noisy lah these air-show jets overflying my house pulak. Couple of days ago kena Padang tremor, now this.

You've summed up my life quite nicely lah but there a few other activities that are still secret hahaha.

OK - well I guess male pancakes are just that lah - "as flat as pancakes".


Capt's Longhouse said...


,,,would you believe this ? I used to manage a JET A-1 tank farm for Shell too and we kept goats to trim the grass for free plus free BBQ goats during staff festivals.
,,,haha..Initially the board members thought that am as crazy as I am but it works !! so now its standard practice at our tank farms - secret out -.don't tell Petronas. (latest, they are thinking of fishes in the new h2o ponds too cos. of the mosquitoes as i advised b4 retiring-lah, its not as crazy yaa)
...eeemmm someone has a new goatee from some pic. recently hahaha ! ...Try feeding him some grass-lah. hehehe.
,,,Geee!! dah put on extra 4-6 kg since back living in the city !!!!!!..waist size increased from 30 to 34 yoo ! just 13 x days away from the island hohohoo. Tak boleh jadi mah..mau lari looor.
,,,hazardous living & lifestyle in the city..o.k. but liked the Thai massage(r) mah hehehe, thinking of bringing some back for my new Spa too ??. How about that Tommy ?. Good idea !! hihihi..all ladies as pirate crews yooo.


Zendra said...

Capt. great idea lah - keep a goat haha - the 4-legged kind. Next year can slaughter for my annual kari kambing open-house. Hmmmm...... Tapi I kesian bela binatang yang tak dapat girlfriend. Bila ada, nanti membiak pulak - tak sangguplah..

Red Alfa said...

The lawn needs mowing? Z still can never be convinced how fancy and over the top it is having top brand Taiwan grass and not the lowly cow grass!

I put it to Tok Uban. (He's all expert what; all the right handles to pull and every button can push!)As they grow so lush, no weeds could grow in between. So don't need to do the weeding.. Tok Uban you must know weeding is a chore, the back breaking type, yeop!

But Taiwan grass when lush, now that's that thick green carpet should be! More so if it grows naturallly to be ankle deep. You would just love rolling in it! The nature embracing and the alfafa smelling.

It would be such great loss to give it the crew cut! Then its all pain and sorrow as the weeds will take over!

Zendra said...

Kakaka - the troop calling for reinforcement again. Mana commander ni???

Tommy Yewfigure said...

What about Sei Part Poh or Sum Ku Luk Poh...hahaha.

Had the usual long Friday arvlunch today with a few Aussie, English, Scottish, French, Columbian & Bolivia mates. No bull, sounds like I'm starting a joke kan...heheh. Had a great time drinking, eating kangaroo kebabs, crocodile bbq etc...

Hey, what's six inches long, has a bald head & drives Jewish women wild?

Definitely not Tok Uban...hahaha

Have a great weekend people, RA don't forget to mow the lawn else we all had to suffer hearing her whinge all over again, like a broken record...muahaha!!!


Answer: A Yankee hundred dollar greenback...muahaha

Anonymous said...


Don't let the other WEEDS to grow, you might get some kind of high out of it haha !
,,,why not grow Bermuda grass (devil grass !!) i.e. C. dactylon is widely cultivated in warm climates all over the world.
,,,It is fast growing and tough, making it popular and useful for sports fields, as when damaged it will recover quickly. It is a highly desirable turf grass in warm climates, particularly for K.L. regions where its heat and drought tolerance enable it to survive where few other grasses do. It has a relatively coarse-bladed form with numerous cultivars selected for different turf requirements. It is also highly aggressive, crowding out most other grasses and invading other habitats, and has become an invasive species in some areas. This invasive nature leads some gardeners to give it the name of "devil grass".
,,, Also its Medicinal values i.e.
Cynodon dactylon has been studied at the University of Allahabad in India, and is said to have many medicinal properties including antimicrobial and antiviral properties, as well as treatment of urinary tract infections, prostatitis, syphilis, and dysentery !!
,,,So RA, the devil grass ?? you might even buka kedai ubat from its by-products hehehe.

Tok Uban

Zendra said...

Tommy, you had kangaroo and crocodile for lunch? Oh - almost forgot you have Abo blood hahaha. So ok-lah. Don't forget to catch the boomerang now.

Whatever the reason, tq for reminding RA about the *wink,wink* but this weekend will be a very busy one. Remind him again for me next week OK matey? Nanti I belanja you pepsi.

PS no comment about your joke this time hehe takut CIA datang...

Zendra said...

Tok Uban, taking the easy way out I see... but thanks for sharing the research, very useful information ;)

Red Alfa said...

Tok Uban

So you are agreeing with me that the lawn needs no mowing?

You will say, Taiwan Grass is like Devil's Grass. Its just as so aggressive that weeds lose out. But Taiwan Grass more dark green colour and very thick with chlorophyl which extract can be drunk as having same medicinal properties like alfafa, wheat grass, etc just as you mentioned.

Also say the thick green carpet can grow like hair standing at calf-height!

'wink' 'wink' Tok Uban, really!

Anonymous said...

Pak Zawi,

,,,Please bring your grass cutter across to K.L. and help our poor Zendra out !..her boys are not willing hehehe.


,,,in Sarawak, the local lady KDs at the golf clubs if you watch them closely, will pick up some type of almost cow grass species as vege. for their cooking with belacan !. tastes real crunchy plus ada byk ubat ubat nya according to the locals. i indeed belajar banyak from the natives there too, most interesting tour of duty !!. even pandai buat local wine nowadays - tuak iban..tastes even better than RED. (wine-lah not You mah hahaha). Also dah master buat 'air nira' fm coconut trees.
,,,buat putting green kat garden rumah m'cam RA ?? but you need special roller/cutter for it. Dah mature nanti, sms me for putting/chipping lessons hehehe...sekarang ada di-jual special Serangoon Grass for it, boleh pasang siap within 1 day. but if sendiri nak buat use Bermuda Grass, easy to manage Yeop Ooi !!
,,jangan jangan malam ini your main dish - Zen's Cow Grass Special hahaha !! bahaya Yeop..pergi potong saja the long grass hari ini...exercise sikit-lah.

Tok Uban