Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Will I Become The Next Ratu Kebaya?

(Pics courtesy of my Mom - taken circa mid-fifties)


Don't you feel blessed we're living in this hot tropical climate where we generate a lot of sweat just by lifting a finger? Take me for instance, washing the bathroom, cooking, vacuuming, even hanging out the wash (no gardening, yet and I don't iron) all done in full tracks and long sleeves cotton tees, makes me drenched in sweat and feeling detoxified after. Hey, that doesn't mean I love housework, or is passionate about it, or even desirous of it. I just do it for the pleasure, for the pleasure, for the pleasure (my on-going affirmation for life) of ____ ?

Only thing about housework, they are not the full-body workouts you get attending body-pump or body-vive or whatever they call aerobic classes these days, a lot of muscles and joints are hardly used. In fact we keep using the same old muscle and joints again and again. At the gym, they tell me that we need to strengthen the unused muscles and joints to help us enjoy a good quality of life in old age, if we live long enough that is.

Last Friday I had Farah from the gym go through my body composition with me. Free service for members. I am actually 57% muscle and 39.5% fat. If my fat touches 40% I'll cry... no, no I'll just have the pleasure of sweating more... To burn fat, I'll have to do more endurance kind of exercises i.e. a lower intensity but for a longer duration, like middle to long distance running, not sprinting.



At school I was running sprints and doing long-jumps, playing ping-pong and netball, in short sports requiring short bursts of energy. I had no stamina for the longer distances.

Doing high-intensity cardio-based exercises may use up muscle rather than fat because fat is kept in storage whereas muscle energy is easier for the body to access in a desperate situation (which signifies cardios).

I have maybe 10-15 kg of fat to lose according to Farah and some kg of muscles to gain, ideally. What lah, I'm not entering "Who's the Next Ratu Kebaya" reality show. And she gave me a food-guide for "Eating Right For Your Blood-type" would you believe?




My blood-type is A+ by the way, please take note other A+'s because we can only donate blood amongst ourselves and AB+

RBC Compatibility chart
In addition to donating to the same blood group;
type O blood donors can give to A, B and AB;
blood donors of types A and B can give to AB




Just as I was poring over the guide, taking note of the many foods that are supposedly poisonous to my body, and the little that act as medicines, in came an e-mail from a kindly unker hehe:

_______________________________________________

I love this Doctor!


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q
: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me...

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"


____________________________________________________


Maybe I should follow the good doctor's philosophy and dump the diet. I love beef, lamb chops, dairy, bread, mee kuning, curries, cheeses, creamy soups, chickpeas, you name it etc,etc......


BLEARRRH!!!!


27 comments:

Capt's Longhouse said...

,,,issh ! issh ! issh !!..ini tommy punya hai ??. pandai pandai lah Yeop oii ???.

...love yourself, love others and gain affection not gain weight..and fats hohoho. !!

Oldstock said...

Zen,

You are still dreaming of fitting into that shapely baju kebaya, huh? My missus gave up a looooong time ago.

Naz said...

Zen,
YOU can already wear that kebaya laaaa...

bangkai said...

Ma'am

If people can't accept you because you a certain shape, then they are just not worth it.

Now go enjoy a good steak (or two)

Kak Teh said...

zendra, it was such a long time ago when i was called that - ratu kebaya. Now ratu kebarung pun dah tak layak lagi! AM sure you can still wear it.

oh dear, still not in the mood to update...so, i will just keep on reading blogs.

anneaziz said...

You know something Zendra,

Ask any nyonya and they'll tell you..suck it in, put it on, and strut! To hell with whoever thinks you look ugly in it..

anyway, I bet you can still turn a head or two!

zafi said...

ratu kebaya?
heheheheh its very seldom to see women nowdays wearing kebaya...
evrything look so modern lately!

Zendra said...

Capt, go make Tommy walk the plank.

Then we'll continue with the motivation talk, hehe.

Zendra said...

Don't give up Mrs Oldstock oiii. Come join me. Mr Oldstock can remain old... for as long as he likes hahahaha.

Zendra said...

Naz, yahooooo!!! but let's get real lah - 1st March 2010 it shall be.

Zendra said...

Matb, it's just me not too pleased with the outcome of regular exercising post-retirement. Stubborn extra inches here and there just have to go especially after hubs turned his chair round to ogle at cat-walk models at saturday's gala dinner (pout).... hahaha

Have that steak or two? Captain's gonna make you too walk the plank!

Zendra said...

Dear Kak Teh, rindulah... Indian summer boleh buat lethargy ke? Or are the pollens still flying around?

WOW you were ratu kebaya before?

Sekarang kita ni ratu hati orang jadilah Kak Teh kan?

Zendra said...

Hehe anneaziz, now where did I put my Crony industrial undergarments. Ye gawds can I even get into them?

Yeah traffic swerve to avoid hitting me lah.

Zendra said...

Hey zafi, one thing I can't stand looking at is when kids wear jeans with their kebayas. Absolute sacrilege!!!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Salam Kak Anjang, I’m sure u’ll look stunning in that kebaya lah, with your ‘how’s the weather up there like’sort of height…hehehe.

U said;

‘Stubborn extra inches here and there just have to go especially after hubs turned his chair round to ogle at cat-walk models at saturday's gala dinner (pout).... hahaha’

So RA being a naughty boy again? It’s only Biology lah, explanation as follows;

Women take 29.5 days to produce 1 egg, which, if inseminated, consigns them to 9 months of pregnancy, followed by months & years of breastfeeding. Men, on the other hand, takes a few seconds to produce 300 million sperms. Look at bison, birds, apes, your dog. Mostly, u see slutty males & picky females. Modern man, Silvio Berlusconi excepted, has moved on from the apes in every respect but 2; We still leave the seat up & we still CHECK OUT other women. And we pay for both those things dearly in trips to the malls & long, cold, duvet-free nights. Overall, u win. And we rest our case.

This one for all the boys; (RA, check out the Harleys);

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJS8j9YYB9w

Tommy,

P/S- BTW that medical Q & A, was from my good doctor Dr Phu Ling Lek :)) Oso luv those black & white photos!!!

Capt's Longhouse said...

Zendra,

,,,if you don't have a dream, how the hell are you gonna make a dream come true ??. aahh jadi Ratu Kebaya ??.
,,,mind you, my whole life has been about fulfilling dreams !!..am living many people's dream on the island too hehehe. What to do ?, I just make it happen coz there are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge. yoo !!.


Tommy...Wisdom and discipline are what mere fools have despised BUT you are a smart ass. Trust you on that score-lah hehehe. (o.k no shark fin ever !! never tried actually, loves to see them swimming free too)..there is a pet Tiger Shark that i would like to introduce to you at the island.

Saya... said...

Ah...makan jer...hehehe..beroada2 cukup la..after a certain age no amount of exercise gonna move anything..unless u turn anorexic..hehehe

Capten, for such blessings...you have a lot to be Syukur to Him, eh :)

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, yes, follow that doctor's advice....wayyyyy to go.
Like my wife says, when my time comes for that 'appointment' up there...'I will not tell you how Lee died, I will tell you how he lived'.
Bet I'll be laughing up 'there', ha ha.
You have fun, better drink lots of Green tea read of your towel wringing sweat, ha ha.
Have a nice day, Lee.
Ps, we're about 6'c cool.

Zendra said...

Tommy, my former boss, a man, told me that a man is appreciative of women for so long he can hold up a cup of coffee. Now RA can hold up a huge mug... thing is he remembers the "berhenti sebelum kenyang" adage but not the "lower thy gaze" one. Ah well... as they say boys will be boys

Zendra said...

Oh oh ...Capt sir, YES SIR!!! Back to the treadmill... hup 2 3 4 hup 2 3 4
hehe

Zendra said...

Saya, what a revelation! Nothing's gonna move boohoohoo.


Another one destined for Captain's plank hehe

Zendra said...

Dear Lee, even with a name like FooLing Like, the good doctor does have his followers I see.

Only thing, when my appointment comes up, I hope I won't be too heavy for the pallbearers then.

You have a good day too, Lee.

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, then I'll tell people, 'how she lived'...ha ha.
Before that appointment, ha ha...may I have the pleasure of the next dance...your choice..ronggeng, joget modern....or the Tango, *wink*. Ha ha, Lee.

Zendra said...

Dear Lee, with your 6ft 1" and my 5ft 9 in Jimmy Choo's stilletos, what else CAN it be but the La Cumparsita?? HAHAHAHA first let me get supple enough for your "buat more double low drops, pusing you tiga kali, tangkup macham holding pillow,.."

(adoiii belum pusing dah pening kepala aku)

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, I da la imagine dancing the Tango with you at E&O I lupa to mention this...if you got nothing better to do, not doing your yoga or aerobics, or practice your silat gayong...
check out our Canadian made TV sitcom, produced and directed by a Canadian Muslim lady titled, 'Little Mosque on the Prairie'.

Zendra, it is a pechah perut hilarious series...and more popular than other programs showing here, as well in USA too.

It is about Muslims being sterotyped as wife beaters and whatever and the of the misunderstandings between Muslims and non Muslims.
Actors are Canadian Muslims and Mat Sallehs.

I really enjoy watching the show...check it out.
Have a nice day and jagan lupa the chili red lipstick, Lee.

Uncle Lee said...

Ooops, forgot again, check out on your Youtube...Lee.

Zendra said...

Dear Lee, Thanks for the heads-up on the TV show. I'm watching the early episodes and they're simply hilarious. Also a great way to nuture understanding of Islam and showing the challenges of practising it in the west. Guess you are familiar with some of the issues huh?