T and wife's blood profile reports are out.
Wife: Bang, how many times did you "go" today?
T: Eight. What about you Yang?
Wife: Six - 4 at home, 1 at Pathlab when I fetched the blood results and later at the gym while the kids were at McD's.
T: Haha you leave your tracks everywhere!
Wife: Any port in a storm lah Bang. You know at the gym I met my friend Fadzillah ... she told me about Arabic classes starting in August. Twice a week... 100 ringgit a month.
T: Owh?? Where?
Wife: Some condo at 17. Way the other side and they begin at 8.15 am. The jam will be horrendous.
T: What days?
Wife: Tuesdays and Thursdays. One hour each session. By some ustaz who does it on radio as well.
T: Join lah. It's cheap and the jam at that time is not that bad.
Wife: OK. Then next time when we go on umrah, I can chat up the Pak Arabs .... hahaha
T: Yeah and you won't make the same mistake I did with the fa nun dal qaf word. Heeheehee and I pronounced "matt'am" as maktam.... hahahaha
T: So how are the results?
Wife: OK see this..... Just compare your ESR with mine. Yours is 12 and mine is 25. Maybe that was why you bled for so long tak?
T: What is ESR?
Wife: it says in this booklet "If blood is left to stand, the cellular component will sediment and the amount it settles in 1 hour is the Erythrocyte Sedimentation Rate". It says here "the higher the ESR, the higher the chance of a chronic disease. Investigations are then needed to find the disease". Looks like I have a lot of sediment!
T: The lab did not highlight these so probably not significant lah. Ok what else?
Wife: Both our uric acid readings are high - mine is 0.38 and yours is 0.60. Luckily it'll be fasting month soon - I think can get mine down easily. You, Bang will have to stop eating all those Shandong peanuts OK?
T: (smiling sheepishly) OK laah. Next.
Wife: Cho-les-te-rol! My ratio, at 3.3 is OK even though the total is high, my good HDL cholesterol is exceptionally high so it wipes out the bad guy. It says here "high levels of HDL are associated with low risk of atherosclerosis and are seen in women before menopause, persons who exercise regularly, and non-smokers". Yay my blood is young.
Wife: Yours disasterous lah. Well... not too bad actually, only your triglycerides are out of whack. The rest - HDL and LDL are borderline. The lady at Pathlab said you must reduce your carbohydrates because they are the ones that can drastically increase your try's.
T: So I must take statins lah.
Wife: I don't think so - just don't eat so much rice at night.
T: But don't cook so many varieties of lauk lah....
Wife: OK lah Bang - that is quite easily done! Starting tomorrow.
T watched CNN and dozed off in front of the TV whilst wife updates her blog, again...