Saturday, 21 November 2009

The Biology of Attraction and Love

Just thought I'd share this link from an e-mail. It's a very interesting analysis by Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr Michael Roizen of the chemical truth to the 7-year itch.

Update - This is my best effort of a transcription of their talk

Ever heard of the 7-year itch?

There is actually some truth to it.

First year you’re walking on air because of the dopamine receptors, and you now are going to fire them like crazy.

For the next 4 years a different chemical called oxytocin takes over.

So you bond with your spouse to be to get that warm and fuzzy feeling all over.

But after 7 years, the chemicals in your brain aren’t working overtime anymore.

So it is up to you to re-create your marriage to get those hormones working again.

Because a healthy relationship is all part of you being beautiful.

Let’s explore the biology of our romantic relationships.

How we find that right person and how we continue to love that person.

MRI shows that parts of your brain light up like a movie marquee when you’re in the romantic phase of love.


Because of a love-potion ingredient called Dopamine.

When you’re in love and nurture that relationship, your brain pumps out this feel-good chemical.

Dopamine drives reward-seeking behaviour or craving and increases the brain cells release of the euphoria hormone – serotonin.

So the better you feel the more you want.

Because that dopamine pathway increases with risk-taking, we often seek what’s new and exciting.

Because dopamine and serotonin are high when you’re in romantic love, when you’re without your loved one you become love-sick, for chemical reasons.

Being love-sick actually makes serotonin levels drop 40%, down to the same levels as people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Being in love triggers the increase of the “happy” chemical, serving as the chemical reason for why we feel happy when we are in good relationships.

Unfortunately we develop a tolerance for dopamine over time.

One way to continue this chemical “high” is to try new and even exotic behaviour to increase dopamine levels and stimulate more and more receptors.

That’s why new sex positions and sex in different rooms seem exciting ESPECIALLY FOR MEN.

But don’t worry.

Because another hormone Oxytocin, the powerful chemical that makes you feel intimacy and community comes to the rescue.

Oxytocin by the way is also increased by talking – which might mean why communications is so important in relationships.

This increase in oxytocin within an entire symphony of brain chemicals that influences us is one reason that why 99% of humans live in Pair-bonds.

That’s not only marriage but any intimate relationship with one strong partner be it a spouse or significant other, a parent, a sibling, a close friend or even your cat.

Nevertheless after around 4 years the chemical tie that drives humans to stick together starts to recede.

The timing isn’t a co-incidence, since the potentially created offspring will no longer be entirely dependent on the mother, leaving her better able to provide for herself and her children.

Without the chemical hand-cuffs the fathers are more to prone to leave. This is why the relationship needs to be moved from being purely romantic to a deeper level of beauty to create a fertile field for a life-long relationship.

Getting back to sex. What’s it’s purpose?

For a start sex concerns that Nirvana moment between couples – a time you feel complete happiness and intimacy, a time when you express your love to your mate.

Consider these resulting benefits.

Men who have sex 3 times a week can decrease their risk of a heart attack and stroke by 50%.

Women who enjoy sex tend to live longer than those who don’t.

Great sex makes your body feel and be the equivalent of 2 to 8 eights younger.

Increasing sex from once a month to once a week according to researchers is the happiness equivalent of an additional $50,000 dollars in income for the typical American.

Here are a few tips to improve your love-life.

Re-invent your relationship.

Many couples gradually grow apart and have to re-connect.


A woman marries a man because he sees his potential and then tries to adjust him to fulfil this potential.

Conversely a man marries a woman who is exactly what he wants.

And then she goes off and changes.

So in effect as soon as you fall in love both of you start racing in different directions.

Thankfully for you and any offspring, you’re held together by those chemical hand-cuffs - dopamine and oxytocin.

Levels wane and your cuffs slip off after 5 to 7 years; you need to continually re-invent the marriage by taking each other out of your comfort zones.

Travel somewhere new.

Try a new hobby together.

Or make some new friends to bring out different parts of your changing personalities.

Then open the fridge. Food plays a vital role in our sexual desire.

Some because of the smell, some because of the shape, and some alter your body chemistry to make you fell more desirable and can desire and mate more.

The scents of lemons, and donuts and liquorice increase penile blood flow, which is necessary for men to achieve an erection.

Don’t eat the donuts though because that actually slows the blood down. Just smell it.

For women, it is liquorice and cucumbers. Why? Maybe it’s the phallic shape which subconsciously plays a large part in all food anyway.

As if there aren’t enough resons to shop for good food, here is one more - Great Sex.

This sex-scented shopping list will revitalise your kitchen as well as your bedroom.

I've stopped the script there. Continue with this list taken from

* An apple a day helps keep bad breath away (and your partner closer than ever).

* Asparagus is rich in vitamin E -- a key nutrient for hormone building. (Find out how asparagus affects your liver, too.)

* Bananas contain bromelain -- an enzyme thought to boost male libido.

* Celery is high in androsterone, a hormone released in male sweat that turns women on. (Did you know? Celery helps constipation, too.)

* Figs are rich in amino acids that may set your desire afire.

* Garlic might cancel the sweet breath provided by the apples, but it can also boost blood flow to sexual organs. (Take the hassle out of garlic prep with tips from this video.)

* Oysters have lots of zinc, an ingredient necessary for the production of testosterone.

* Wild yams are thought to enhance genital sensitivity.




Naz said...

Great info, Zen!
I think knowing the workings inside our body helps us to be more in control of our actions and decisions.
Have a good weekend :)

Zendra said...

Yo Naz, glad you liked it, I'll be transcribing the talk soon - good for future reference in case they take this vid off the site

Enjoy your weekend too

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hey Zee, mopiko can help or not to stop this itch :) These 2 docs seems & sound so gay.

Saw 2012 just then, ok only lah. So better go enjoy yourself ASIF there's no tomorrow!



Zendra said...

Tommy, depends where you itch lah!

Today the mall near my house was jammed with people going to watch that movie too - almost creating a 2012-like calamity themselves. All hype lah. But for fun can still go and see and makan-makan after haha

Uncle Lee said...

Hello Zendra, ha ha, the '7 year Gatal'?
My kind of subject, heh heh. I guess there is some truth to that as only few days ago our papers mentioned about how marriages (here) jadi sejok after 3 years and 37% marriages putus before 6 years.

However, based on my own, ahemmm, experiences, at seeing, observing friends and friend's friends whose marriages ikut the Titanic,...quite often the men ada not only roving eyes, but kaki pun jalan, habis cherita.
Need 2 to Tango.....

Then...Holy Smoke! Some of my friend's wives, after 3 years marriage, 2 kids....they let themselves go, become full member of the 'Fast food club'....especially ' Club Meh Nonner' (Cina prounounciation of McDonalds)....double cheese burgers, double whoppers and whatever...'double fries and gravy please'....!

They sebelum kawain macham Alfa Romeo GTV's...
da jadi member of Meh Nonner....macham Mini Van....with big tires. Baju XL or xxl.
One friend thought his wife pregnant, thought she got secret jalan, ha ha... see her bonchet...rupa tu, she Meh Nonner member often.

And this from few of my friends over coffee head shaking grumbles....their wives when dating or test run days, macham Incik Hugh Hefner's SYT's, and followers of that Indian buku Kama whatever, heh heh.

Da kawain, da anak dua, Meh Nonner member...
very often, "not tonight, got headache, anak belum tidur, boss office give me stress, no mood', or 'TV showing 'Sex in the kampong', whatever....macham2 Hubby kesian, pegang dua bantal tidur, frust big time. Ha ha. (My friend said that to me).

Sini Mat Sallehs ikut Titanic macham kerbau stampede when an Alfa Romeo backfires...ha ha. I think mostly graduates of Hollywood.

Hey Zendra...get that DVD of 'Hatari' and family will love it. I saw more than 4 times, *wink*...and if not seen, get, 'The Gods must be crazy' 1 & 2. Boleh pechah perut I assure you.

You have a nice day and don't forget the chili mera lipstick, Lee.

Zendra said...

Aisehh Lee, itu saiz jadi besar sikit takpah lah, after 2 - 3 times carrying your progenity for you, for most women the metabolism slows down meh. Important that husband must also manja the wife lah - re-invent the marriage, take her dance tango in Argentina, maybe, once in a while let her dance with a drop-dead gorgeous hot-blooded latino while hubby watches, barulah the wives can maintain the happy brain chemicals at high level - sure no headaches, guaranteed! Hubby pun happy camper. Otherwise, no choice, they drown their sorrows at Meh Nonner - get same "high" effect in the brain, but burgers are not wild yams hahaha!!! or fresh apple juice ;)

Anyways, Lee I'll try to get the Hitari DVD though I think I've watched it before because it sounds familiar, and also watched The Gods Must Be Crazy, I remember now - practically brought the cinema down that movie - so hilarious i did not doze off any part of it. Good promo for Coca Cola too it was.

Oh the lipstick - OK lah.

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, ha ha, love your humour.
Incidentally, my wife and I made a 'gentleman's agreement' we will not become King Kong size, or 'bonchet tummies'....she doesn't go on the weighing scale, every year on her birthday will take out the cheong sum, and the sarong she wore when we dated once upon a time...and still boleh masok albeit kena wriggle like a Egyptian belly dancer...

But me? That morning we left Subang Airport 22 years ago, I weighed 142 pounds on airport scale.
Today I hit the scale at my doctor's when go for yearly medical check-ups....196 pounds....Summer jatuh lima pound, Winter naik balek....sejok boleh makan lebeh.

Nasib baik ada my height and still ahemmm, shapely, not like a empat bulan woman, heh heh.
And I still manjah her every I can't cook, ha ha.
But age as caught up....retired that Indian buku....heh heh....gymnastics at my age chari pasal.

She still gets young men at her work place invite her for lunch dates....should see her humming bila masak in kitchen, ha ha.
But good for her....which woman married or otherwise don't appreciate men giving them the eye....after all saya pun kachow wives of husbands who own Alfa Romeos, ARHAAAA HA HA.
Have a nice day, Lee.

Uncle Lee said...

Psssst Zendra.....
A woman is like the world...
Before the age of 13, she's like Alaska,
Pure and innocent,

Between the ages of 13 - 18 she's like central Amazon ; Mysterious and unexplored.

Between the ages of 18 - 23 she's like the Middle East ; Tempestuous, restless and dictatorial.

Between the ages of 24 - 32 she's like Canada ; Cool, calm and calculating,

Between the ages of 33 - 45 she's like the Scandinavian Territories; Stable, boring, and never in the news.

Between the ages of 46 - 49 she's like Asia;
Filled with wisdom and a looong history.

Between the ages of 50 - 64 she's like Europe;
All wrecked and devastated

Above the age of 65 she's like Africa;
Everyone knows where it is but who the heck wants to go there ?
Ha ha. Lee.

Zendra said...

Waah Lee, you very lucky Mrs Lee still maintain for you. My wedding kebaya won't let my rippling muscular arms in the sleeves now hehe. Well at least my daughters get to tayang the kebaya to look classy. I was that skinny - 112 lbs. Now I am xxx lbs haha but my tulang berat lah (not berat tulang ok?) and nasib baik ada height jugak, boleh buat optical illusion.

ARHAHAHAAAA - you still got it in you.

Zendra said...

Correction Lee, at 50 onwards a woman is like ......Malaysia, you can leave her but you will forever remember the good times with her ;)

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, love your thoughts, ha ha, 'at Malaysia' are absolutely correct....ta'lupa those those SYT's saya pantun under bulan terang...
Waaa, you weight lifter? Ada muscles? Ha ha.
Okay, checking out...Lee.

Red Alfa said...

Want only to dream possibilities with "7 or so year itch". Cannot happen cos' not fear for the love of a woman but should cos' for love of God!

Zendra said...

RA, Alhamdulillah! wuv vous...

Anonymous said...

Now that explains it! No wonder lah nak rambut merah, mata coklat etc... hehehe...Thank u. Very informative. Will email a link to this page to my other half...

Zendra said...

Ladymarko, tell V to take a detour here too *winks*

Saya... said...

Wild Yams ah? No wonder laaaa....must stop eating those. Ceh! berapa lama nak detox ni Zen??

Uncle Lee,

This hot doctor told me, men who really know their women would have affairs with those 35 pluses up to 48.

What a loss he said. And he is a sex therapist some more...

Those who like PYTs dunno what they are missing he says... ("bodoh" were his words...hehehe)

Ooohhh..esok ade tea with a PYM...Zen, nak join ka?

RA, pinjam dia leh? Nak make it legal :P

Zendra said...

Psst Saya, I don't do P(retty?)YM's lah kakaka. Anyways besok kena masak ketupat plastik etc so you enjoy your tea without your legal aide lah yer! Keep away from the bubur keledek now....

Emmmm.... this sex therapist ... oh never mind


Anonymous said...

need some "therapy" Zen? tunggu dia balik haji in january...hehehe

Zendra said...

iiissh no need lah hahah Saya, actually was going to ask what YOU were doing with/seeing one?

Saya... said...

Hey! Good to have a boyfriend who knows his way around no?

(snicker snicker)


Saya... said...

You need men friends in every vocation lah Zen...never know wehn you might need their expertise..err advice :P