Tuesday, 3 November 2009

This Midlife Calling

When hubby brought home an Alfa 146 and painted it chilli red (ooops, sorry Ferrari Red), I told people he's going through a midlife crisis and then we have a good guffaw about it. He loved the car, took pains and pleasure to have her (yes, her) restored to her former glory, and to her right resonant VROOOM. I could always tell when he had returned home by that sexy low-pitched growl......

I didn't realise however that the eye he had on a younger and different model, the 156 at Ivor's workshop had turned SERIOUS. It was in it's original silver colour and looked as if it had seen better days, which in all probabilty it had. Apparently it's one and only owner had upgraded to a slinkier model.

One evening he came home extra early grinning from ear to ear.

"Aiit... Bang, why are you home so early?" (Oldstock's eyes are rolling)

"I wasn't at the office, I just came back from a conference", still grinning

"Where was your conference held?"

"PWTC", grinning

"Aiit... and you came straight home? How come you didn't stop by at the gym?"

"I didn't feel like it", grinning

"Are you going out again?"

"After solat, yeah"

"Oh OK, where?"

"Just Ivor's workshop" still grinning

"Oh OK", (thinking..... he's in a good mood, either the boss gave him a raise, the overseas trip is on, or he lost 5kg)


When he returned from Ivor's, I was fixing Olio in the kitchen.

"Hey Good-looking, whatchu got cooking?" (well, not quite like that)

"Olio"

"Waaah it's an ITALIAN night we're having tonight aren't we?" *winks*

"Huh? This is what you wanted, right?" How clueless could I get?


And there SHE (yes, she) was outside gleaming under the lamp-post as I walked to the red-she to go to usrah.

"No, no the yellow one" says Amal no. 2 son.

"What.???"

"hehehe" grinning (guess who?).

SURPRISE!!!!

And by the way, it's not just yellow, it's Ferrari Yellow.

Later my eldest daughter asked "So do you think bapak's going through another midlife crisis?"

"Don't know what you call it, but some men go through this phase. Your grandfather bought a red Mazda 929 sports coupe at that age as well, and a blue Alfasud sometime later. At least it was blue. Grandma put her foot down when he wanted an open-top convertible next."

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that: guys, when your wife starts asking what you imagine to be loaded questions, and you have NOT somehow, somewhere and at some time been up to no bloody good (expression stolen from "Tea and Scones" latest entry) don't get all flustered as if you are doing her a big favour giving off some of your breath and time.

Just cut the mood and the cryptic replies, give her a big warm smile or a grin and get on with telling her what she likes to know. And if you still get irritable and snap at her at such a little thing as being curious and wanting to be a part of your life, that means only one thing: YOU'RE GOING THROUGH A MIDLIFE CRISIS!

Here are some of the tell-tale signs: (from What is a Midlife Crisis)
  • Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided you with happiness for many years.
  • Boredom with people and things that may have been of interest to you before.
  • Feeling a need for adventure and change.
  • Questioning the choices, you have made in your lives and the validity of decisions you made years before.
  • Confusion about who you are and where you are going.
  • Anger at your spouse and blame for feeling tied down.
  • Unable to make decisions about where you want to go with your life.
  • Doubt that you ever loved your spouse and resentment over the marriage.
  • A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship

Recognise any?




_____________________________________________

40 comments:

Capt's Longhouse said...

,,,my take on mid-life calling ?
..as we free ourselves from the fear of death as we grow older, we release our energy in celebrating life-lah !!
..as one realise the shortness of our stay on earth, we tend to appreciate life better-kan !!
..but do prepare for one's death and final destination ! to heaven..a place of sheer beauty, complete bliss, total content, endless comfort and everlasting love. yoo ??
..(i guess like kapas island heheh
e !?)
,,,jangan jadi dirty oldman o.k kot-lah RA/Z ya?? haha kita main kereta saja, kan best !
..in my case bot pulak ! adoooii apa nak buat di dunia ini lagi Yeop oii.?? hohohoo. (God watching!...watch out too!)

mamasita said...

Gosh Zendra..I have ALL the tell-tale signs you posted! HELPPP!!

anneaziz said...

Zendra,

Good fight you are putting up!

Serious stuff for men to chew on besides their cigar if only they dare admit!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Ok, the Vam..oops Empire Strikes Back. As gentleman as I'm, I shall allow u ladies 2 days head start...muahaha..cakap besar only lah, jangan marah je..

Nampaknya, our Capt pun sudah mellowed down, happy2 aje :((

Salam

Tommy,

P/S- mana tu si-bangkai sama itu oldstock????????when u need them. Hellooo..

NanaDJ said...

Zendra,
See what I mean (re my comments at Oldstock and Bangkai's blogs) - why can't men give straight answers.It will save them all the trouble.I am not that patient like you, all this half smiles, dreamy eyes, silly grins - I have no time to layan. Those are signs of an impending storm (from me).
Ferrari yellow? Ah... I tend to agree maybe midlife crisis (hold on Mamasita - wait till we meet on Friday), how about a discussion with us, Zendra? You are not invited Oldstock and Bangkai!Maybe next round with our Batu Ronson as well.

Zendra said...

Capt you certainly have the means and the support to live out your calling. No crisis for you lah, just play and ibadah hehe :)

bangkai said...

*Hang in there Tommy! Bangkai's gone supersonic and will be there in 10 seconds!*

Whoa! I recognise all the tell-tale signs you mentioned. I guess its doubly complicated when both the man and the woman go through it at the same time, eh?

Anyway, based on that list I think my ex- had her crisis when she was 22! :-)

Oldstock said...

Aha! Padan la satu petang ni asyik tersedak aje... rupa-rupanya ada orang menyebut, muahahaha!

Right... where shall I start?

Many years ago, I also had my eyes on an Italian beauty called the Alfa 164. But the price was out of my league. Lagipun, Italians are well-known for being expensive to upkeep. So I settled for a plain-looking but reliable Japanese cutie.

When talking about cars, there is actually a select group of gentlemen who favour European makes (and I'm not talking about Mercs or Beemers). These are the guys who drive/own Alfas, Volvos, Peugeots and Citroens. When they talk with each other, it's like listening to another language. Us Jap owners will be entirely out of place.

Anyway, your Abang RA is not (I repeat, NOT) going through a mid-life crisis. He only brought home an Italian beauty to care and cherish like his previous love. But if he brings home a Malay beauty.... then you should be worried, heheheh...

Zendra said...

mamasita, what is admirable is that you are willing to admit you have these signs and are yelling out for help. For us women they are easier to explain due to the vagaries of our cycles and the related hormonal declines. For men I read that the declines are gradual but decline they do, with similar effects. Double whammy is when both husband and wife do not acknowledge, understand, accept and deal with them in a non-destructive manner.

Zendra said...

Hahaha anneaziz, is this a fight? I'm actually passive by nature and usually take flight or mengalah. But if I have to fight, it's usually with known facts lah.

Zendra said...

Tor mee, calling in the cavalry I see? No need for 2 days - we'll miss you if you do not check in tomorrow.

Zendra said...

22 MatB? Wow you guys started young! Probably when the hormones were not fully matured yet hahaha. But my mom and dad hooked up at even younger than 22 and they stayed the course, probably through adolescent AND midlife crises. That's what they had, these orang-orang lama - maturity and staying power.

Zendra said...

Sorry to make you tersedak Oldstock,but betullah, my Abang RA has at one time or another owned all the continental makes you mentioned except for the beemer.

I did not mention one other tell-tale sign and that is, recognising all the signs but denying you have them hahaha.
I think RA is going to like you.

And if he brings home anything with 2 legs other than a bird or fowl, tak tau lah apa nak jadi :)

Zendra said...

NanaDJ, Hey I couldn't access your profile but you do sound like one garang lady who do not mince her words. My so-called "patience" as you put it has been acquired over time, and I have managed to morph it into a display of "cool" hahaha

Friday lunch isn't it? Only if I can wangle myself out of something else OK?

Red Alfa said...

Mid-life crisis? What's that again? Neverrr! Z, is just all woman.there...and they think they know us men!!

O.K. let's check them list:

•Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided you with happiness for many years.
The new color is STRIKING and BOLD YELLOW just shows how I am gratefully very HAPPY!
•Boredom with people and things that may have been of interest to you before.
I really love the people I meet at work and I am really enjoying writing this!
•Feeling a need for adventure and change.
Hey, even Z said I must have the most predictable routine and food regime. They never change since ...
•Questioning the choices, you have made in your lives and the validity of decisions you made years before.
Loyalty and faithfulness is the warm familiarity of the old pillow and blanket! The best in the bed to come home to!
•Confusion about who you are and where you are going.
Google the name (and RA) and it gets you to that unique place. And IC/ID is still amazingly/unique at the NRD
•Anger at your spouse and blame for feeling tied down.
Looking Back In Anger! is just a happy ditty/song in my head...
•Unable to make decisions about where you want to go with your life.
Aren't we planned to climb Kinabalu next March?
•Doubt that you ever loved your spouse and resentment over the marriage.
I hugged and kissed our kids and saying everytime and all the time .. this is what life's best loved struggles are for!!!
•A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship
ok... so its Ferrari Red and Ferrari Yellow ... for life?

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Wah Zen, u know me so well that it’s becoming very scary. Actually I did intend to come in 2 days later but as a fellow jantanman, I must acknowledge my gratitude to my fellow mosquitoes fighter pilots, Matty, gOldie & Alfie for their supersonic response to my distress call; ‘May Day, May Day, bandits at 12o’clock high’.

See NO QUESTIONs asked one leh, just a wink, a nod and a ‘V’ sign followed by a thumbs up will do, duh….heheh..Something u females will never understand lah.

I must say u & RA had the right formula in a ‘near’ perfect marriage, I’m happy for the both of u; Ya RA must really be ur ‘Close 2B Botak Handy Man’ like James Taylor;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzW1LEY125s

Cheers,

Tommy,

P/S – Ooi Zee,‘Garang’ is an understatement. Yaa I shud say a little prayer for Mr Mouskouri too :0 OMG, soli hah.

Capt's Longhouse said...

,,,haha remember ?? i once mentioned about a deaf husband and blind wife ?...hehe yaa but i coach in the business world about win/win and may i suggest it should also be brought home too guys !.
,,,wise couple deal promptly with problems b4 they worsen
..pls note, mild grumble may hide annoyance and even anger and these grievances indeed can escalate with time ! ..may i suggest to all couples, pls don't fight in your marriage, learn to fight for your marriage instead !!. Try to love, not to win only yoo ??.
,,,don't be puzzled if marriage is not a bed of RED roses with no bills/ills as like my pretty paintings hehehe !
,,,Always be prepared for harsh realities, not unless you live on an island, its ever harsher at times Yeop ooi !!.

Finally,,,A happy marriage is the world's best bargain, my friend !.

Tommy !!..no joke no fun, no ...cont. pls ? - the ball is in your court hehehe.

Ciao !!..sinoritas dearest. hahaha

"loves cures people-both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it"

..sorry Tommy, meself a ladies man haha ! a 100 miles extra for the ladies, any time yoo.

Capt.

Zendra said...

RA, this blogging thing really works! Your reply is about as close as it can get to the love letters of yester-year. Would give you a *MMMuah* but it's too public here Tommy might retch kakakaka

Aaah the grand dame Kinabalu, GULLLPPP! Only if you'll carry my backpack.

Songs for you and the kids (memories of long drives)

Zendra said...

Tommy, your combat-ready moskites just fizzled out lah. Must be RA spraying the Shelltox hahaha.

Hey james taylor's already bald! That's the thing about having too much testosterone in youth, you get a shiny pate in midlife. Itu pasal crisis!

Zendra said...

This Capt kan, he says he's a ladies' man, but how come he is a recluse on an empty island? painting pictures of himself for his own pleasure - like Adonis?

Owh meditation therapy.... (just dropped by there)


Capt. you have a blissful long distance marriage. How do you do it by remote control?

Capt's Longhouse said...

Zendra,...o.k. tell you my secret !

,,,Communication between me and my ever romantic partner/best friend/lover/wife (Bib) is very well at all time, with neither of us holding back when expressing our feelings. We both have strong psychic bond, and much of our communication takes place on a subtle rather than a verbal level. This indeed make us feel close together even if we're apart. It can be a real advantage yaa. hahaha !! ..unlimited access to my bank account helps too kot ?? hehehe plus a RED merc. sport coupe and an ever open ticket for vacation to anywhere/anytime in the world for her & family too..Geeee !! hahaha.

Capt's Longhouse said...

Just for you RA !! hohoho,,


BMW Brings Me Women

FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

FORD For Only Rough Drivers

HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive. ...


VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

PORSCHE Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

KIA Kills In Accidents

OPEL Old People Enjoying Life

TOYOTA The One You Only Trust, Always

GOLF/GTI Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside

HONDA Hanged Over, Now Driving Away

Alfa ??????????

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, Wow! Double Wow! I like your hubby, my kind of man! WhoooHoooo, an Alfa Romeo!
I have loved Alfa Romeos since 16 years old.
And you are right, the raspy sounds they make sheer ecstasy not to mention, sexy!

Love that yellow...and I can imagine hubby in his designer sunglasses stopped at a traffic light, bus stop several women...heh heh...'vroooom...vrooooom.
This the car to drive to East Coast via the East West highway, hear the sexy sounds echoing off the mountain sides...or for that matter around Penang Island after midnight, bila ada bulan terang.

Zendra...I like you hubby's style. Have fun, Lee.
ps, I owned 3 once upon a time.

Capt's Longhouse said...

Joke Of The Day from Kapas Island:

,,,This guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a frying pan. "Adooii what was that for?" he asked. "Aiik !!,,,That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Zeedy Love written on it," she replied. " Ohh yaa..two weeks ago when I went to the races, Zeedy Love was the name of one of the Zebra look alike horse I bet on," he explained. "Oh honey dearest !!, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."
,,,Three days later he was watching an Alfa car racing event on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.
,,,When he came to, he asked, "Oii ??..What was that for?"
,,,"Your horse called-lah !!."

Hahaha !!

Zendra said...

Capt. AHA psychic communications! After the splendid presents, this surely saves on the cell-phone charges wink, wink.

ALFA - A Longing For Action?

HAHAHA the joke shows how lame a man in the throes of midlife crisis can be.

Zendra said...

WhoooHoooo Lee, it takes one (romeo) to know another huh? If only hubs could tango like you do hahaha.

Yup everytime he comes home, the vrooom vrooom makes me see 3 moons.... 3 round dinner plates to be set on the table.

THREE alfas? Wow, I'll recommend you for an honorary membership of Club Alfanatics hubby is starting hehe.

We'll just ignore Tommy Yewfigure's naggings about the carbon footprints. He only steers the roulette wheel.

Red Alfa said...

Oh Lee, 3 Alfas, what the...! Anyway, thanks for your very kind thoughts.

You have got me off the hook for being over indulgent as I just have 2 alfas! Yes, you should be in line for the nomination of al-fanatic, ...definitely!

Me? I have 2 reasons:

Having to care 2 alfas will not unduly alarm Z, unlike 1 alfa would!
Womanly logic would have with my 2 alfas she remains the only woman I will care for! But with just 1 alfa, she would have to compete with it for my attention!

The other reason is alfas are infamously unreliable... Alfas would spend as much time in the workshop as they are real joys to be driven!

Owning 2 alfas at any one time, I am assured of being able to drive at least either 1.

And Tommy, the carbon footprint of having 6 cars is manageable as we (my family and I) would drive only 1 or 2 cars at any one time.

azeim29 said...

and i will get to drive..a volvo, an atoz and a naza..

haha..

@mak

I think it runs through the family..at least the boys as far as i can see..

about, the mouth speaks less than the fingers does..

p/s i love you..both of you

enjoy the alfas.. :)

zafi said...

nice car!!!
i reserve my comments lah :P

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hey Zen, after reading RA response to mid life crisis; he sure make a good politician. Yah, neither here or there, torn between 2 lovers (the boss or his male kakis), sitting on the fence {can get tetanus, u know}, little wonder he still cling on to his security blanket & pillow, macam itu Linus from Peanuts….hahaha.

BTW, do u get the feeling that the Capt is growing his own XO tobacco in his island, specially fertilised with Jane’s pee & poop? Hmmm that comfort smoke sure works for him, must try some one day.

Guys, seriously lah, as socially responsible Wargamas, we must look after the environment for future generation. I drive a Toyota Prius, recycle my tin kosong (excuse the pun), botols, paper, food scraps for compost, plant a few trees to neutralise my footprint, etc…Every little bit do counts lah.

Think GREEN, not green with envy!

Tommy

P/S – Zee, be afraid, be ver afraid; “AH LIAN FAVOURITE AUTOMOBILE” (chick magnet), next u’ll have all the ‘Wo Ai Ni’ damsels knocking at your door….heheh!

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Hi Azeim, how’s the going & how’s the weather like in Glasgow? Getting colder or not? Did u read that ‘Scottish’ is the 3rd most sexiest English accent in the world according to this poll;

http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Irish-tops--World-s-Sexiest-Accents--poll/536710/

Oso hor, do u as a son, feel embarrassed by your parents ‘childish not acting their age’ way of expressing their lovey-dovey stories in a public domain…..heheh…C’mon be honest about it! You'll still get to drive the yellow ALFA when u come home lah.

Ta-ra,
Tommy

Capt's Longhouse said...

tok mee and guys,
,,,yes, indeed, don't just think GREEN but act on it yaa !..well done on your part, as meself just collected lots of plastic bottles swept by the monsoon waves all along the beach front this morning while taking our morning walk (with Jane) and right now its raining cats & dogs out side !..real heavy-lah..non-stop for past 2 days yoo.
,,,last night the waves reached the stairs of my longhouse and again for the next few days with >2.7 m high tides, more rubbish i.e. man made stuffs will be off loaded on the island beaches and guess who will be collecting them ?. You are most welcome to join me hehehe. Seriously the amount of plastics is sickening to my eyes !! I collect washed up timbers etc and recycle them into beach bar up-grades plus making best value added usage of them too, nil wastage-lah.
,,,surviving on the island right now with the monsoon rain is very challenging plus wet 24 hrs. Lucky the fishermen are friendly enough to give us some fresh fish for tonight's dinner..but in return I gave them frozen chickens hahaha. There are more than 12 fishing boats taking protection at the island coz. the waves are just too huge outside in the open sea.
,,,If this is my MIDLIFE calling, its sure is interesting and guess i now know why the wife is wise to stay away on the main land too.
,,,its no play play during the monsoon out here buddy !!..back to basic survival lifestyle yoo..great stuff hehehe. i love it !!

roger out !

Zendra said...

Azeim, the mouth speaks less than the fingers.... ??? that's quite alright as long as you keep your fingers to yourself, y'hear me dek?


Love you too and miss you much!

(Sorry you can't come with us to kinabalu hehe)

Zendra said...

zafi, tq from the boss-man..

Zendra said...

Tommy, what did you expect of a Libran, forever charmingly trying to balance the scales. I wouldn't say he's like a politician but a diplomat certainly, in these matters.

Yes probably Tok Uban IS growing some, what with going psychic (self-confessed schizo, too) and painting himself without the uban... Well, he's on his pulau (not hospital) bahagia anyway

The chicks? see how lah... maybe I'll go green in the face and chase them into the chicken coop, later freeze them and send them over to Kapas

Zendra said...

Capt. it's a tough life for our fishermen in the monsoon season. Am sure they could do with our prayers for their safety.

Yup, plastic, plastic everywhere here too Yeop oii. We take ours to the re-cycling collection stop at the mosque every 3rd sunday, or to the govt collection station where they pay us for our recyclables. Our old PC monitor earned us 5 rgt hahaha.

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Zendra, I forgot to mention, believe it or not, Alfa Romeos are not sold here!
I have been here and past 22 years only seen 2!!
I've seen more Lambos, Ferraris, Merseratis.

But lately read they planing to come to North America.
Ask an ordinary feller here about an 'Alfa Romeo'...he or she will look at you say, "huh"?
Guess they thinking of an Italian lover, ha ha.

But BMW's? Like durians on trees in season...M3's, 335's etc.
Can't help noticing lots of fathers love their teen daughters, (Asian fathers!) as lots of these mini skirted, desiginer sunglasses on forehead, Jimmy Choo shoes drive one....they don't fool around too....drive M3's! And lipstick red!

Me? I hope to buy a Carol Shelby Mustang 500. Wife always raise eyebrow hear that, and reminds me my age, Terok la!

It has 500 HP....sneeze and if foot on the pedal, you'll take down a lamp post or have an affair with the back of a bus! Yup! 500HP! No fooling around with 500 stallions! Lee.
Oh ya....apart from the Alfa sounds....nothing beats a Mustang's V8 engine burbling sounds when idling....hit the pedal....well, you can imagine, ha ha.

Zendra said...

Dear Lee, I was planning to buy a Carol Shelby Mustang 500, too. BUT hubby raise eyebrow hear that, and reminds me MY age. What a party-pooper!

HAHAHAHA this is a good start to the weekend - letting my imaginations run wild.

PS Let us know when you take that hot babey home, we'll fly straight out to hitch a ride. Boleh tak?

I've put up her pic. Real beauty lah, Mrs Lee would look absolutely ravishing beside the driver *wink*.

Red Alfa said...

Hi Lee

Reminds us that the Alfa Romeo is the poor man's Ferrari, Lamborghini,etc and is marketed especially to countries the likes of malaysia, malawi and philipines, I suppose. Even then, only the pre-owned ones are affordable to most of us.

If very rich businessmen, professionals, etc are buying for their wives/daughters/sons BMWs, Jaguars, Mercs what have you, its so very inspirational. But I have only nastiest of thoughts and get to damning curses when certain senior Govt. personnel and junior Ministers are planning/doing that.

I am reminded 15 years ago when I was in business and had join in a tender with a British-local consortium for a contract with MOD. In the pre-contract discussions, we were instead told that so and so would like his son to have a Panther for his 19th birthday in 2 weeks!...It was that BLATANT and it seems things have since gotten even worse. Nowadays i especially have heartfelt sympathies for our fighting men & women; what half past six contracts might have been supplying them with equipment and stuff that wouldn't work as well as they should because some peoples' sons and daughters are driving panthers or some exoticars. (Yes dear Mejar Jeff Matissa we should
have collective consciousness for your growing concerns and misgivings in your Nuris and whatevers)

Anonymous said...

Whoa...very the yellow...hehehe...

156 is still not mid-life crisis...a spyder would have been...

i'm thinking of a 1992 300sl...tapi anak nak letak mana tak tau...kena jual the Pesona first... :P


saya