Friday, 30 October 2009
Thursday, 29 October 2009
The only drab one is mine - a safe grey.
The others are
a chilli red
between a rust and a red
and a new addition
I remember chanting this little ditty in primary school with my friends to determine who was to be IT in a game of catching. It replaced lat-talilat-tamplom for quite a while and went something like:
Green, green fairy queen
Blue, blue golden shoe
Red, red botak head
Yellow, yellow dirty fellow
(me in 3rd row centre, marked in red)
Guess that's why for me, yellow takes a little getting used to after having been brainwashed at an impressionable young age.
Here's what the colour yellow supposedly represents:
Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy.
Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy.
Yellow is often associated with food.
Bright, pure yellow is an attention getter, which is the reason taxicabs are painted this color.
When overused, yellow may have a disturbing effect; it is known that babies cry more in yellow rooms.
Yellow is seen before other colors when placed against black; this combination is often used to issue a warning.
In heraldry, yellow indicates honor and loyalty. Later the meaning of yellow was connected with cowardice.
Use yellow to evoke pleasant, cheerful feelings.
You can choose yellow to promote children's products and items related to leisure.
Yellow is very effective for attracting attention, so use it to highlight the most important elements of your design.
Men usually perceive yellow as a very lighthearted, 'childish' color, so it is not recommended to use yellow when selling prestigious, expensive products to men – nobody will buy a yellow business suit or a yellow Mercedes.
Yellow is an unstable and spontaneous color, so avoid using yellow if you want to suggest stability and safety.
Light yellow tends to disappear into white, so it usually needs a dark color to highlight it.
Shades of yellow are visually unappealing because they loose cheerfulness and become dingy
Dull (dingy) yellow represents caution, decay, sickness, and jealousy.
Light yellow is associated with intellect, freshness, and joy.
More colours here
I'm inclined to earthy colours myself. But please tell me what colours do I wear to complement a bright yellow Alfa 156 1999 model? I still have my oversized Victoria Beckham two-toned sunglasses, or are they out-of-fashion already?
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
Don't you feel blessed we're living in this hot tropical climate where we generate a lot of sweat just by lifting a finger? Take me for instance, washing the bathroom, cooking, vacuuming, even hanging out the wash (no gardening, yet and I don't iron) all done in full tracks and long sleeves cotton tees, makes me drenched in sweat and feeling detoxified after. Hey, that doesn't mean I love housework, or is passionate about it, or even desirous of it. I just do it for the pleasure, for the pleasure, for the pleasure (my on-going affirmation for life) of ____ ?
Only thing about housework, they are not the full-body workouts you get attending body-pump or body-vive or whatever they call aerobic classes these days, a lot of muscles and joints are hardly used. In fact we keep using the same old muscle and joints again and again. At the gym, they tell me that we need to strengthen the unused muscles and joints to help us enjoy a good quality of life in old age, if we live long enough that is.
Last Friday I had Farah from the gym go through my body composition with me. Free service for members. I am actually 57% muscle and 39.5% fat. If my fat touches 40% I'll cry... no, no I'll just have the pleasure of sweating more... To burn fat, I'll have to do more endurance kind of exercises i.e. a lower intensity but for a longer duration, like middle to long distance running, not sprinting.
At school I was running sprints and doing long-jumps, playing ping-pong and netball, in short sports requiring short bursts of energy. I had no stamina for the longer distances.
Doing high-intensity cardio-based exercises may use up muscle rather than fat because fat is kept in storage whereas muscle energy is easier for the body to access in a desperate situation (which signifies cardios).
I have maybe 10-15 kg of fat to lose according to Farah and some kg of muscles to gain, ideally. What lah, I'm not entering "Who's the Next Ratu Kebaya" reality show. And she gave me a food-guide for "Eating Right For Your Blood-type" would you believe?
My blood-type is A+ by the way, please take note other A+'s because we can only donate blood amongst ourselves and AB+
In addition to donating to the same blood group;
type O blood donors can give to A, B and AB;
blood donors of types A and B can give to AB
Just as I was poring over the guide, taking note of the many foods that are supposedly poisonous to my body, and the little that act as medicines, in came an e-mail from a kindly unker hehe:
I love this Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me...
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
Maybe I should follow the good doctor's philosophy and dump the diet. I love beef, lamb chops, dairy, bread, mee kuning, curries, cheeses, creamy soups, chickpeas, you name it etc,etc......
Monday, 26 October 2009
And my family would gobble up my spag dish in no time whenever we have it for dinner.
In fact my girls love pasta, especially fettucine carbonara, the creamier the better. I swear there's no Italian in our bloodline where this partiality could come from. But come to think of it, wasn't it Marco Polo who brought the noodle from China to Italy and called it pasta?
Hmmm.... the girls love kwayteow kungfu too. Obviously it's the chinese in them, though they do not look as chinkee as me. Ah well, you can take the chinese out of the noodle, but you simply can't take the noodle out of the chinese and their descendants - no matter how diluted the genes are.
As I contemplated making spagbog again last week, Bang says "tak sedap lah Yang, olio yang hari tu lagi best".
Olio yang hari tu was Spaghetti Aglio e Olio - olive oil and garlic sauce pasta with shrimps - served at Shasha and Zuzey's Raya Open House.
Now Bang is a meat freak who gives fish a disdainful jeling when he spies it among the other dishes on the table.
My dear Bang, aglio olio with beef is blasphemous to the Itai's and I'll sure hear ground-shaking mammmamias all the way from the boot of the Mediterranean, should I cook it.
But kesian punya pasal I consulted with Zuzey on the possibility. Yup I had on occasion been in two minds about certain plans pasal kesian.
Zuzey's a very talented cook inheriting skills from both her Mum and Dad. Chicken Rice and Nasi Briyani are her signatures...Yummm.
"Well maybe you cooouuuuld.... pre-fry the minced beef with some pepper in a little olive-oil before adding it to the already-mixed olio"
"What if I throw in some curry-leaves for some fusion taste? They do it at Strawberry Fields you know, it kinda cuts the muak feel"
I hear aiyoo ma aiyoo pa rumbling from the sub-continent and more mammmamia's
"Hmmmmmm.... my cousin-sister does that too and yeah ........ it's OK .... I guess... You can also use canned-tuna-in-oil too if you like".
Zuzey used shrimps that day. I don't mind tuna. But the young man must have his meat.
Well guess that's it. I'll try whipping up a batch of beef olio and another of tuna for tomorrow's pot-luck. There'll be other food so we won't go hungry should these do not turn out as desired.
And forget the curry leaves as well. We can't kill the subtle oregano flavour with boisterous kariplay, can we?
According to the grape-vine, there'll be Shepherd's Pie too. Yummmm!
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Today, two weddings in the afternoon - both of children of cousins.
Later tonight, a gala dinner - yikes they'll be putting on a fashion show.... time to try on that killer sarong kebaya again. Or will it still have to wait till 1st march 2010? We'll see...
And will have to forego Misterdi's last minute invitation for tonight....
Tomorrow lunch, a delayed Hari Raya Open House. Sis Rosie was too busy travelling weekends last few weeks, so that's OK. Who says there's no free lunch outside of Raya?
Oh, it's AZEIM'S BIRTHDAY today. If he were at home we would be enjoying scrumptious steaks tomorrow night. Maybe we would still be.... as always we celebrate everyone's birthday in his/her absence.... at TGIF's, San Francisco perhaps? Don't worry Dek, we'll take some pictures knowing you will be with us in spirit.
(click on the mix-pod for your birthday song)
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
From my Inbox
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a
year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no
answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the
kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to
the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life
and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a
great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened
The gorgeous beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or during the night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, a hideous old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day,
but by night, a beautiful, desirable woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU have chosen?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT wait .... make YOUR choice before you scroll down to see the answer. OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would henceforth be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now.... what is the moral to this story?
The moral is .....
If you don't let a woman have her own way ....
Things are going to get really ugly :-))
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Beautifully sung by an oldish man at our neighbourhood open house
The original song:
ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
wo de qing ye zhen
wo de ai ye zhen
yue liang dai biao wo de xin
ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
wo de qing bu yi
wo de ai bu bian
yue liang dai biao wo de xin
qing qing de yi ge wen
yi jin da dong wo de xin
shen shen de yi duan qing
jiao wo si nian dao ru jin
ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
ni qu xiang yi xiang
ni qu kan yi kan
yue liang dai biao wo de xin
You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you...
My affection is real.
My love is real.
The moon represents my heart.
You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you...
My affection does not waver,
My love will not change.
The moon represents my heart.
Just one soft kiss
is enough to move my heart.
A period of time when our affection was deep,
Until now makes me miss you.
You ask me how deep my love is for you,
How much I really love you
Go and think about it.
Go and have a look,
The moon represents my heart.
Friday, 16 October 2009
I might hazard a guess that his condition is probably due to a chemical imbalance in the brain that manifests during the full moon, like the ebb and flow of tides being also influenced by the moon. What's fascinating is that a schizophrenic cannot be fooled by optical illusions known as the "hollow mask" illusion. The brains of "normal" people tend to work by forming expectations based on prior experience i.e they see what they expect to see, whereas schizophrenics see things as they are.
Wired Science explains it:
In healthy viewers, the illusion is so powerful that even when aware of the illusion (see video below), they are unable to see the concave face — the mind just flips it back. Though the illusion is strong for faces, it doesn’t work well with other objects, or even with upside-down faces. This bias is likely due to the special relationship we humans have with faces. Many neuroscientists believe we have brain regions dedicated to processing faces, and some brain injuries can leave patients unable to recognize faces, even though their vision and other memories remain intact.
(Please hit the Stop button on my mix-pod to listen to the explanation of the illusion)
Schizophrenics aren’t the only ones who see the concave face — people who are drunk or high can also ‘beat’ the illusion. A similar disconnect between what the brain sees and what it expects to see may be occurring during these drug-induced states.
I certainly cannot "see" the back of the mask as what it is. I see a face. Therefore I can happily conclude that I am not schizophrenic or drunk or high.
But what irks me is that if a sufferer sees things as they are, wouldn't that mean that his delusions are not delusions, that he could really "see"or perhaps sense that people harbour ill-feelings towards him? And that those people might not really know it themselves?
Gives me the creeps this.
I'm so sad for my friends and their son. I pray that his condition be cured eventually.
So what do YOU see?
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
With Syawal on its way out, pretty soon I should be rearranging my living-room to it's former minimalist layout of 1 carpet and a 3+2+1 lounge set plus an extra sofa and no coffee table. At present there is another carpet laid with the furniture arranged into 2 separate lounge areas for raya guests. A bit more effort needed to sweep and vacuum that's all, but with the minimalist style it's easier to get round behind the chairs to sweep and to roll the carpet to mop the floor.
Well I had let myself get flabby the last couple of months. Didn't do any serious exercise. I knew I had lost some strength when I could not push the single chair off the carpet. Maybe it wasn't just the whole weight of the chair on the carpet, maybe the carpet itself had exerted some friction on the chair that my puny strength couldn't overcome. Whatever the fact, that was when I knew I had to hit the gym again.
The little weight I lost over the fasting month had returned. Well it was just water anyway. I was so dehydrated and sleep-deprived, exercise was never factored into the daily routine then unless one considers the supplementary terawih prayers a form of exercise. I sweated small buckets, but that was all. Nothing like the totally satisfying drenched t-shirt front and back kind - smalls included.
And so at the gym I only managed half the weights I used to do on the machines. Before that session, 25 mins of easy striding on the strider machine. And finished off with another 25 mins on the stiffer machine which has more resistance on the "pedals".
The 3 poco-poco classes I had taken recently were helpful enough to ease me back into exercising. Otherwise this morning I would not have been just achy and sore, but the more painful achy-breaky as in that line-dancing song Achy-Breaky Heart.
My buddy says we have to set objectives and visualise the target. Well let me declare what my target is:
You see that tall lady in the centre of the stage beside the cowboy in black?
That will be me on the 1st of March 2010 YEEEEE..HAAARRRR!!!
Friday, 9 October 2009
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry..
I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters,daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
The elbow is the strongest point on your body.If you are close enough to use it, do!
I recommend that you watch this on youtube and read the comments
2.. Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you....
Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy..
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4.. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!)
The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
D.) If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF.
DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead run the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it ...
As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8.. Crying Baby Scam
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
9. Water Scam!
If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE!
10. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours!
Please pass this on
On a lighter note:
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Type 1 diabetics are insulin-dependent and they never leave home without their insulin kit. Every meal must be preceded by an insulin shot a half-hour before. They have to constantly monitor their sugar levels - never letting it get too low (hypoglycemic) by being strenuously active or not eating or both, or letting it get too high (hyperglycemic) by not having their insulin shots before meals. My poco-poco teacher was not able to fast because of this. Every year he pays fidyah as replacement.
One day during the Ramadan break, teacher decided to spring-clean his other house which is in a new development, in preparation for hari raya. His wife prepared a meal for him to take with him whilst she manned their bazaar stall. Teacher is well-known for being house-proud and fastidious about it too. Too engrossed in the cleaning, he neglected to have his meal on time.
And as to be expected, he experienced a hypoglycemic episode. What is a hypoglycemic episode? Hypoglycemic episodes occur when the sugar level in the blood
Actually teacher had decided to have his meal after showering. It was in the bathroom that he got disoriented. He had come out of the bathroom in his birthday suit, walked past the living room and straight into the glass sliding-door which was 5mm thick. He hadn't installed grilles for aesthetic reasons. He said diabetics going through such episodes sometimes experience abnormal strength, and as a result he left a hole in the sliding-door in the shape of a man just like in the cartoons.
He then fell unconscious among the shards of glass on the floor. Fortunately for him one of his neighbours noticed the broken door while she was driving home and alerted the head of the Resident's Association, who happened to be Mr Lee next door. Mr Lee knew of teacher's diabetes, he being similarly afflicted. So when he investigated the complaint with another neighbour and found teacher sprawled in the raw, he suspected the cause. They covered his modesty with a towel, made him drink some coke with some chunks of chocolates but called the police anyway just in case it was a criminal incident or breaking-and-entering.
When the police came, he had already come to but what he was incensed about was that instead of offering to take him to the hospital in the police-car, the mata-mata kept commenting how beautiful his house was (2 semi-dees combined into a single unit), with tastefully elegant decor and such. And there was teacher bleeding all over and in pain from the many cuts. In the end, it was Mr Lee who took teacher to the government hospital's trauma and emergency department.
Which turned out to be another traumatic experience for teacher. Because he had to have 50 stitches. Some jagged cuts were stitched by an inexperienced houseman who was directed to do so by the supervisor "pandai-pandai kau lah buat". Houseman's hands were shaking and houseman dropped the spiral suture and then had to search the shelves for another one, not knowing exactly where such things were kept. Teacher told houseman "If you mess up the stitching and my thumb drops off, I'll sue you".
While lying on a bed pillowless waiting to be warded for a night's observation, teacher saw a patient die, he witnessed a foreigner being denied a bed and told to sit outside, he saw a high-class looking lady yak-yakking loudly on her handphone with a pillow under her head and one on each side of her. Teacher sniggered when she screamed as the doctors realigned a foot or something. Mr Lee rolled up a blanket for teacher to use as a pillow.
Poor teacher. His wife vowed never to let him go anywhere alone again. He has recovered quickly indeed. Last Saturday we resumed classes after Ramadan and the festivities. He started off by putting us through the basic (for now) poco-poco steps and then torturing us with continuous repetitions of arm and shoulder exercises. Floor exercises were equally torturous and I found that I couldn't execute the full range cobra pose the way I could before the break, not to mention the 100 sit-ups and pelvic raises.
Tsk,tsk ...Should have continued with my stretching exercises during Ramadan.
Check-out these Swedish students doing the basic poco-poco. My teacher has in addition to poco-poco taught us cha-cha, salsa, rock-n-roll, zapin, basic indian and chinese steps too. The classes are fun exercise and never as boring as the gym could get.
Hope teacher has learn't his lesson and doesn't go hypo on us in class.
My friend James retired from an illustrious broadcasting career a year ago. He spent 40 years in the business. In that time, he’d seen incredible changes….namely in the industry itself.
James is funny, smart, a brilliant writer, a gifted and trusted newsman…he’s a Vietnam veteran, a graduate of Texas Tech and a conservative dresser, as well. He went the Less Nessman route and always wore a tie and crisp button down shirt to work. I seem to remember seeing him in a dark blue Munsingwear pull over once. I swear to God, even that was starched.
There was always an air of propriety about James. He was cool and calm and always collected. He was the one that was able to keep his head while others around him lost theirs—you know the type.
I had a four martini lunch with him the other day. We do that on occasion. He talks about his life after TV and radio and I complain to him about my life still in TV and radio.
He tells me that his friends and family are interested in knowing how he spends his time. He insists that in between drinking coffee, he rarely has trouble finding interesting things to do. He insists his life is full and that he is happy.
He says he runs an amazing amount of errands. More than he ever did while working.
He conveyed one story that was particularly…well, interesting.
The other day he had a number of things to do…he had to make a deposit at the bank, run to the cleaners, drop off a few payments here and there and pick up a watch that was being repaired. He was in his neighborhood jewelry store for less than five minutes—he got his watch, paid for it, then walked out the door.
Once outside, there was one of Houston’s finest writing out a parking ticket. James said to the officer, “Come on man, how about giving a veteran a break?
James said the cop completely ignored him and continued writing the ticket. This infuriated James. He then called the cop a “Nazi.”
This obviously displeased the policeman. James said he glared at him, then wrote another ticket because that car had worn tires and were considered “dangerous”. This infuriated James even more, so he called the cop a “doughnut eating ssshole.”
He finished writing the second ticket and put it on the windshield next to the first.
He looked up at James and smiled and that made James NUTSO, so he decided to add insult to injury by calling the uniformed one, a “shit brained, ham breathed prick.”
With that, the officer wrote a third ticket.
So, I’m listening to this story, not believing my ears. It’s all so completely uncharacteristic for James; for the James I KNOW, anyway. This man has never been a confrontational sort. He was always so reserved. I was looking at a very different person. Something had happened since he hung up his headphones for good.
I was dining with a changed man.
Anyway, James said the back and forth name-calling and the ticket-writing went on for 20-minutes.
But James added that he really didn’t care.
You see, up until that point, he’d left out one very important point while conveying his story.
James took the bus to run his errands that morning.
The car wasn’t his.
So, I asked him the logical question, “Then why did you do that, James? Why did you egg the policeman on?”
He replied, “Because the car he was ticketing had a bumper sticker on it that read, “Hillary in 2008”.
He raised an eyebrow and looked at me as he took a long sip from his martini. I smiled.
Suddenly, I understood.
Ah, sweet retirement.
I’m counting the days.
Should I be wandering around in Bagan Pinang next few days for some fun? Are the mata-mata there game or not?
Friday, 2 October 2009
Thursday, 1 October 2009
What a pick-up line for a man appreciating his loved one's culinary creation.
Emmm, if you think this came from someone who had a birthday recently, sorry-lah. Sorry for me too. But then when he piles on another helping of rice even it is only to go with fried chicken and kailan masak lemak and sambal belacan tomato, that's enough thanks for me.
Anyway that line was from a cookery show I was watching. When there's no one else at home watching MTV, or ESPN or CNN then I get to watch the cookery channel...... while having brunch.
Why brunch? Well I woke up quite late.
Why did I wake up late? Well I went to bed very late, 4.00 am.
Why 4.00 am? Because I couldn't sleep.
Why not? I had Milo tarik kurang manis at the mamak's at Mydin Mall at 10.30 last night. So you know lah, minum Milo jadi KUAT dan SIHAT - not jahat ok?
Why drink a stimulant at night lah? Because my taitai sis belanja mah...
Why she belanja? You see, we were with another sister (I have 4 sisters) shopping for prizes for our once-in-a-few-years gathering of the Tok Jamal descendants this weekend. Tok Jamal was our great-grandfather. This taitai sis is really generous - she always belanja us makan-minum.
And then she assigned me a task - younger sisters always get assigned little tasks, and not so little tasks.
What task? "You take home these prizes and gift-wrap them" she ordered, "after all you got nothing to do!"
You know I'm really amazed. A retired madam taitai, living in a 3-storey mansion with 3 whatchamacallems in the porch and a maid for each of the 3 storeys, tells ME who chose not to have a maid, who everyday AT THE VERY LEAST has to make the conjugal bed (this is easy), cook and serve the conjugal dinner (also easy but sometimes no mood), wash and put away the utensils (easy too but boring job), also hang out and then fold and put away the family laundry (do not need a degree for these), occasionally wash the bathroom, and whine about the uncut grass, the leaky roof, - hey I'm not complaining - but I do NOT have nothing to do, madam.
"Eeeyer, YOU'RE the one got nothing to do what!" I sneered.
The Libran sis with 2 grandkids on her hands every working day, tries to balance the scales "You both divide the things up lah or you both come to my house to do the wrapping".
"Aiyahh susah-susah I'll take everything-lah". Attagirl, sis. You're an angel. Mmmmuah. Tomorrow I can watch TV while eating my brunch, kikiki.....
Plus think about the poco-poco steps easy enough for the makciks to pick up during the joget lambak segment - a task assigned by the Libran. Can't get off scot free, you know.
Actually the things I do everyday, is what next-doors' maids do everyday too. OK, I concede I only do what I choose to do. But then I'm unpaid so I can choose to DO something or NOT to do something. Why get stressed mowing the grass, cleaning the drains? I'm stressed enough just looking at them lah. (That sounds like convoluted logic) But I must say the cars are always shining - enough elbow grease in that department haha. Not from my elbows but someone elses. Of course if I were a maid like the ones next door, the grass, the drains, my car would get lashings of grease from mine.
Hats off to the Indon maids, those who work hard from dawn to dark, and especially those who do not layan banglas and construction workers. Here's a song for them. (I myself get stressed watching it - Thanks Widz)
(Sigh - I just want to be like that beautiful woman coming out of the darkness........... How to be this I do not know. Would these latest gifts from a Canuck Casanova help?)
This was written tongue-in-cheek - no malice intended, absolutely
|Just an Old Fashioned Girl || |
I'm just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind