The following are excerpts from the lecture entitled "The 6 C's of Good Character" by Sheikh Yassir Fazaga. This entry is third in the series following on from:
What is "being Considerate"?
It means that you deliberate. You think before you act and before you speak: "how is my action and how are my words going to impact those who are around me?".
Is what you are going to say something that will lift them up or is it something that will crush their spirits?
Is what I am about to say something nice that I need to share with people and it will be pleasing for them to hear it or is it something that will crush their spirits and bring them down?
So being considerate is the ability to think before you act, the ability to deliberate about your words and about your actions.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) spoke about respecting people's feelings. When there are three people, two people should not whisper to one another. Why? Beause it will hurt the third person who is present. Respect the other person's feelings. Be considerate.
The Prophet also said:
"When you lead people in the prayer, make it short, because there are among them some people who are weak, among them some people who are ill and and among them some people who are old and among them people who are busy."
Sometimes we make people hate the Sunnah, hate the Deen through our actions. In the name of Islam, we can be so rude, in the name of Islam we yell at people, in the name of Islam we demoralise people, in the name of Islam we crush the spirits of people.
A Muslim is supposed to be considerate - how you drive - it says a lot about you; where you park says a lot about you. We are constantly displaying our character, so the point is - be considerate.
The Prophet also said:
"If you eat garlic or onions, don't come to the masjid."
If you plan on coming to the masjid, avoid these things. Why? Because you are coming to the house of Allah, and the house of Allah has many believers, and eating garlic and eating onions is very inconsiderate of you."
So when you come make sure that you impact the people around you nicely. Make sure your presence brings joy and that the people around you will say that this person will neither do or say anything that will hurt their feelings.
The 4th C is Courage. Have Courage. What is courage about?
It is about us being able to stand up for our beliefs. It is about the ability to stand up for the values and principles that we hold. We say you are a person of courage when you are challenged yet you stand up for your beliefs and you stand up for your principles and you stand up for your values.
Courage is so needed nowadays. The Prophet Musa, wherever he was mentioned in the Quran, he was always afraid. He was afraid of the staff that turned into a serpent, he was afraid of the Pharaoh who was a tyrant. But can we say that Musa was a coward? Absolutely not! Because courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is doing what is right despite the existence of the fear.
Courage is needed specially when we have to challenge social status quo.It takes courage to speak truth to those in power.
The Prophet said:
"Do not let your fear of people stop from saying that which is right".
This saying empowers us and makes sure we have the courage, we have what it takes to bring about a change.
These are the 3rd and 4th C's of character - Consideration and Courage.
The next - Control - will be deliberated on in the coming instalment, Insya Allah.
You may also follow the lecture here.
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26 comments:
sounds heavy topic but indeed very important! think before speak even before we produce the end results! :)
Zafi, I guess what the Sheikh is saying is - consider your say then do it with courage. Have vivas in mind?
I like to think I’ve got courage & am considerate generally. Trouble is I shoot my mouth off without thinking first. What do u think?
Alas, my biggest weakness is another big ‘C’ ;). Ya lor ‘Conceited’ & ‘Chauvinistic’, hmmm not very nice person, am I? Cannot help myself mah, macam ada penyakit 'Tourette Syndrome!
Salam,
Tommy
Tommy, you profess to have the 4 C's - conscience, compassion consideration, courage. But the TS indicates a lack of the next C - Control. And apart from chauvinism and conceit let's also add chatterbox.
PS - No PS this time?
Hey Zen, my sifu / coach calls this 'gift'of mine; Controlled Reckless Abundance.
Under extreme situation, I'm the 'go to man'; I have to make quick decision, right or wrong. U know something like in a basketball game, 2 seconds left, ball in bound & I gotta go for a 3 pointer shot. Aksi aje, my strike rate in the 70% which is good under pressure :)
Tommy,
P/S - Chatterbox?? U hinting me to bugger off & main jauh2 :(( so sad. Your wish is my command; so long, farewell.
Tommy, my gift when I muda-muda dulu was Uncontrolled Reckless ABANDON - pity those at the receiving end hehe
,,,adoi ! hehehe,.. "stay Tommy stay !!"..pat pat on the head ?.
,,,Now sit ! hahaha.
Got him trained now, so Sifu Zen can take him out for a walk...just can't stop him barking yet !!!!hahaha. Will let RA do that ?.
Capt I don't do dogs, thank you. They might think I'm a lamp-post hehe.
Nowadays, people talk first then think later. This happen when one is sooo overconfidence. Then courage is a disappearing trait and close to extinction as many prefer to play safe-safe one. Now it becomes a norm...
,,,cure all ?..just laugh out loud ! and the body will react accordingly. A good smile is next to a good laugh. YES indeed happy people are healthy, have you notice them ?. So be happy-lah.
,,,like TOMMY, always happy but not so lucky. (kena kerja kuat)
Hi Zendra, I totally agree and believe all what is posted.
Especially when 'three people, two shouldn't whisper'.
That happens very often....as well being too outspoken or lacking in tact and diplomacy.
Recently at a friend's house buffet party was a young couple, she helping hubby get some pieces of chicken, seeing her hubby about to take some fish told him, "lo Kong (hubby)...don't take that, not nice to eat"! She did not notice who was behind her.
Holy Smoke! The friend's wife who cooked that dish and invited them standing behind her, muka merah, as well we all felt uncomfortable. I think her telinga keluar asap, ha ha.
Talk about no class, crude! I guess they have lost a lot of friends effective that night as others all confided that couple will never "step foot in my house". Ours too.
You keep well and have a nice day, Lee.
Aisay Tommy..Zen itu like to usik2 you..don't be hurt..Come back come back..
Zen..many times those who have the courage to speak up will suffer the consequences from those in power..they can make your life miserable and treat you like shit..betul!
Doc, sometimes I think too much before saying anything and then when I've picked up some courage, something happens and it's too late to say anything after that, haha. Of the three levels of nahi munkar - hand, tongue or heart - I resort always to the weakest one :)
Capt, laughter IS the best medicine, I agree. Tell us a joke then - I'm all ready with a smile :D
Aiyoh Lee, what a faux pas! Habislah if the young hubby is an up-and-coming executive or something - wife make the hostess lose face. I'm thinking though that a gallant veteran, polished in the art of graciousness could have saved the day for your friend's wife?
mamasita, you're such a nice person anyone could have for a friend. I mean you could see that Tommy tengah merajuk? I wouldn't have guessed at all - how insensitive of me HAHAHAH! Wah macam ni, I bet Ah Soh pun selalu pening - asek merajuk tak habis2.
Re courageous people, they are the ones with character. Yg make other ppl's lives miserable itulah yang pengecut.
Errr (sheepishly) Hellooo Madam Kaizendra bte Hassan,
Capt, Mamasita u don’t know how shattered I was, never b4 lah in history Tommy kena flicked like that one, I sedih macam ni ;)
Hurt So Bad
Anyway I don’t do lamp post, only on yellow Alfa mac wheels, nanti gua kasi karat…hehehe
Doggies United
Woof, woof,
Tommy
P/S – Sensitive ppl only got feelings mah :)
See lah u women, feeling remorseful yet must oso have the last word by calling me a pengecut. Haiyah kum yeong tim tak woh :)
Hello People! Zen, Mamasista, Tommy and Kapitan Kapas...dunno what to say..im very shy...goodbye!
tommy,
,,,you kena reject or eject ?.
hehehe...hahaha....hihihi am all over rolling on the beach sand !!
Tumpang lalu Kak Zen, Tommy just want to wave ‘Hi’ to my cahoots SAYA & Capt, one on cloud 9 & the other follicking in the sand, how blissful..kekeke.
Zee, don’t lah merajuk anymore, this one 4U;
Not my fault
Good nite & sweet dreams to all of ya,
Tommy
hay tommy !
,,,what is going on down under, walloping Indian as the new national sport !!
,,,even the indian PM has started complaining about it in the news !
,,,black is beautiful too-lah, furthermore miss world is from India mah!.
Zen
I need to read this entry 3 times, then I can feel you [or Im too slow to faham] haha.
Good one, glad to have somebody like you who'd share the knowledge for betterness. You take care Zen.
Eh 'm hai laaa.... siapa merajuk? I thought you yang merajuk Tommy?
Aiyah We Hi 5 Ler
Yo Fleece, you're one great guy for caring to read that not once, not twice but thrice! Those were just excerpts; listen to the youtube video - it's quite inspiring :)
You keep warm now Fleece - ahh what am I saying, you're already a master of the fleece!
Salam Kak,
I pick up your blog via MatB's wordpress.Re:on Mat Dabal.Arwah Pak Ngah Dabal pass away many years ago in 1967 if I am not mistaken.The late ustaz was your late granddad arwah Tok Busu Omar first cousin and arwah Tok Busu was my granddad uncle.
Al.Fatiha to all.Wassalam.
Subhanallah Pak Tuo, I'm flabbergasted, dumbfounded, don't know what to say! WE ARE RELATED! And if you please, you can call me Mak Mudo hehe.
We'll have to catch up - we descendants of one Daeng Makek from Sulawesi. Send me an e-mail to kaizendra@gmail.com and I'll pass you a copy of his family tree (unauthenticated).
Wasalam.
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