Saturday, 7 March 2009

Hell and Earthly Science

Someone sent me this in an e-mail.
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The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid-term test at University of Washington.
The answer by one
student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell
exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell,
and then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.


The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.



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Fascinating hypothesis, says the nerd in me.
Assuming Hell's on Earth lah.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

,,,,,No wonder Teresa Kok is bloody angry with the UMNO little devils/pemuda aaaaemmmmeee.
,,,,,Sorry terpolitik pulak !.
Capt.

Zendra said...

Amazing how you can relate that piece to a local event Capt.!

How's the hospitality business your end? Hope it's good.

Capt's Longhouse said...

well business is picking up, almost full house for past 3 nights and the longhouse is again full of laughters and kids playing on the beach,,,,almost like coming home to grand pa's according to the kids, well guess who they are calling atok ?.
I like kids so its good for me too. Unfortunately both my daughters are still single so I have to play grand father to others.

Capt.

Zendra said...

Your blog is an excellent way to record your life for posterity. Who knows, by the time you have grandkids old enough to appreciate grandfather stories, faster for them to go on-line than to wait for old man to buka mulut dan pasang gigi..... ha,ha,ha

jgn marah, gurau sebelum patik beradu

Anonymous said...

,,,,,its 0307 am right now and the houseguests are just putting up their kelambu after much singing at the beach front !- Ann's group of 10 (2 x children), one of the guy stepped on bulu hidong and is limping around tonite.
,,,,,my chef is not sleeping alone again tonite ! (lucky he listened this time round to buy plenty of french letters yesterday morning)- having an Australian dinner ?.
,,,,,an ex-Italian Army Lt.Col also a chopper pilot checked into room 6 yesterday evening, interesting sharing of flight experience !.
,,,,,Awang Toddy managed the business pretty well all day long, inclusive of sea sport activities.
,,,,5 x divers, group- Dzulhanan from HelTech Padu bhd checked out after 2 nights stay, maturing divers inclusive of 3 malay ladies.

Capt

Zendra said...

All in a day's work Capt., baca pun penat.

Guess you make up for it with a long afternoon siesta, then.

If not may become Capt. Zombie of Cotton Island.